I’m 25 and I recently lost my father to a severe case of pneumonia at 51. Growing up I wasn’t at all close with my dad but 3 years ago I got to know him better and grew closer to him. Until that point I never gave him much of a chance despite him trying to connect with me and my mother encouraging me to even after their divorce. After giving my dad a chance I realised I had a lot more in common with him than I would have expected and he became not just a dad but like a friend to me. Last week he went into hospital and developed severe pneumonia and unfortunately passed on the friday. I love my dad and I hoped he knew that then but all I can think of since is the years with him that I wasted. He tried his best but I threw it away. I feel like I didn’t deserve the dad I had these past 3 years after all that time and all I can feel right now is regret that I didn’t give him a chance sooner. If I could take back the time that I didnt give him I would do it in a heartbeat. Now I dont have my dad and I dont know what to do anymore
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he knows you have your young life ahead of you and would not want you to cloud it with regrets …
don’t put yourself on the hook. regret is a normal part of grief cannot fix things anymore. all he wants is for you to go and have a wonderful time. I KNOW that is what he wants because my happiness was all my dad cared about.
so fulfill his dreams for you which is to be happy. no past only future. 
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