I lost my dad on 28/09/2023 through circumstances we wasn’t expecting he had terminal cancer and I’d been with him all day in hospital when a Macmillan Dr came over to let us know there was a side room he was laughing, talking, eating, drinking and everything me and my dad had come up with a plan for when he was moved over but the plan wasn’t stuck to I thought he was safe as my sister and mom was with him when I left but the plan wasn’t stuck to and he ended up being overdosed he was on his only for 5 hours from midnight until 5AM we checked his syringe driver and knew something wasn’t right but it was already to late they also told us what he’d been given him on top we thought he was in a deep sleep due to this but he took his last breath after a while we’d been there, i made sure he was happy with the plan before he was moved and he kept saying yes, now i just can’t get over the fact it’s my fault and i should have stayed longer to make sure everything was ok.
Oh my goodness first of all well done on being brave enough to reach out for support and talk about such a heartbreakingly hard thing. I did my first post today too and im struggling. I lost my dad December 17th 2023. Im so utterly sorry to read how awful this must have been for you and continues to be. Id be struggling hugely too. Is there a complaint going on and investigation ongoing into this overdose? I cannot imagine how you are feeling. Do you have any mental health support? Grief counselling or any other form? You are doing so well trying to keep going after such a horrific heartbreak loosing your dear dad. Im here if you need to chat or vent, this comunity seems so lovely and supportive 
sending so much love to you and you’re family. I cant imagine the anger, and utter devistation youre feeling. But please know this was not youre fault. Xxxx so many gentle hugs to you
Thank you, I’m so sorry you lost your dad, I’m trying hear as a kind of last resort, as I didn’t get any sort of support when it happened which caused a big step back and I ended up in hospital were I ended up with pneumonia and sepsis they promised they’d let me have night away from hospital on the day of my dad’s funeral but then I wasn’t medically fit to spend the whole day and night away, so everyone had someone whilst I had to go back, i was under mental health previously and spoken to GP and a locum told me to do a self referral, even though I explained the plan was for an urgent referral to be done when my dad passed away, my dad was the only person that was always there for me and I was always there for him, a complaint has been done with some evidence sent off with it that was done a few weeks ago, a medication was in his syringe driver that should never have been in there neither which Macmillan palliative care had put in it, I’m just waiting on them getting back to me, I haven’t been offered any grief counselling, even though I have a 5 year old daughter didn’t have it easy growing up and have mental health issues and was under mental health team but discharged march last year I’ve been offered nothing just been given sleeping tablets and antidepressants that I had to stop so struggling to keep things together and at times just want to be with my dad.
Are you having grief counselling or mental health support? I agree this community does seem lovely, and same to you if you I’m here if you need to chat or anything 
, it must’ve taken a lot for you to do your first post today your dad will be proud of you for doing it and opening up, it’s not an easy thing to do. Xxx