i lost my gorgeous husband 9 weeks ago we were together 41 years he had easophageal cancer that spread to his liver
i miss him so much he was my best friend my soul mate i cant stand the thought of never seeing him again
it hurts so much
i have no clue what to do with myself
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@amanda15 welcome and sorry for your loss. It’s 25 weeks tomorrow for me on this journey. My husband also had cancer that spread very quickly. The grief does get less all consuming with time. I have some good days now and less really bad days. But it’s a hard journey and the loss and loneliness is always there. This forum has been a huge help. Just to chat to others who really understand. Hopefully it will help you too. Take care.
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@amanda15 - I am so sorry your husband has died. Partner loss is so brutally hard and for you, after 41 years of partnership, it must be so bewildering, so difficult. The pain, the silence, the gap - all of it - so hard.
My husband died of cancer, too so I know a little of what you are going through. I had a couple of grief books that I read in those early weeks after he died that really helped me. The first was “The Madness of Grief” by Rev Richard Coles and “The Year of Magical Thinking” by Joan Didion. If you can, maybe dip into one of these? Also, your post speaks of not knowing what to do with yourself. My friend, you are strong, you are resourceful and you have come this far.
One tiny thing to try today, if you can, is to say to yourself “I am braver than I think, stronger than I know and I am proud of myself for getting to this moment”. I did this when I was in the darkest moments after Tom died. I spoke these words to an empty room in a silent house. I said them in front of the mirror when a stranger (me) looked back at me, all red in the face from crying. Oddly, this affirmation steadied me and helped me to inch forward. My friend, you have come to the right place here, for we all know the pain and heartbreak. We are here for you. Hold on x
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thankyou so much for your kind words
im sat here crying my eyes out
my autistic grandson lives with me and hes 12 im also having to deal with my 33 year old son hes got psychosis hes in hospital he was attacked twice when he was 16
life sucks at the mo i need my hubby to lean on and i need his hugs
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@amanda15 - I am so sorry - you have so much to deal with, so much sadness. Your beloved husband is not here in this moment, but we are. I am sending you a virtual hug, not the same I know but a message of love, solidarity and friendship. You are strong, and right with you, is your Sue Ryder family, warriors, all of us, because we know where you are, and how hard it is. Lean on us, @amanda15 - we are here x
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Hello amanda like my husband 7 weeks ago the same cancer he was 67 im 59
31st july he passed only lived 7 weeks consultant said 6 months
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@amanda15 I am so sorry for you my love . It’s still such early days for you . I know what it’s like to lose your soulmate . Nothing anyone can say will help . Just look after yourself and take each minute at a time . My hugs
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Everyone can help u ive been reading the logs for 5 weeks but only just joined it is so good to talk and listen to other people in the dame situation.i have a pecial guardship order i have had my gransons 10 year 15 the eldest and 10 the youngest it is eo so hard to lose your partner bit we justvtake one day at a time
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thankyou so much for your kind replies
im so sorry for all your losses and send hugs to all of you
so many of us going through so much
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I feel your pain. I was with my husband for 50 years in March and sadly he died from squamous cell carcinoma on 6 August aged 75. I too find it impossible to imagine a world without him in it- how can he not exist? I’ve gone through a gamut of emotions - anger at him for leaving me, howling grief, and overwhelming sadness that I’ll never see the love of my life again. We led a very active life, we were both scuba instructors and travelled all over the world. That life is lost to me too.
What gets me through is knowing how brave he was when he was going through brutal treatment, and when he knew the enevitable was going to happen. He faced it all with such stoicism that all I can try to do is follow his example, and try to live thd life that he would want me to live - that gives me strength to go on. And that’s what you must do too - take his hand in yours, hold your head up and keep putting one foot in front of the other. We can do it 