I lost my wife

I have just read the post by Malc. I too was married for 45 years and my wife died 6 weeks ago on her 72 birthday. The day before we were planning a party to celebrate. I am finding it very hard to come to terms with. She was my life, and social organiser. My friends were really her friends and in this Corona virus disaster, where clubs aren’t meeting I am finding it very difficult to meet new people, especially who are prepared to talk about my situation.
Like Malc’s wife was I am still waiting for a hip operation ( it was just cancelled again).
It would be good to contact new people who know how it feels.

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Hi Mike 1
How it feels to be broken in two and knowing no amount of glue can put us back together. It is beyond sadness. 45 years is a long time but never enough. We all know that one day either one of us will leave the other but not through choice it is not in our hands. But that gets pushed aside at the time and days roll on until one day we are thrust into this misery. I am 10 weeks in not as bad as it was the first weeks month but still have moments quite a few during day often due to a thought a memory or what could have been.
But for now i take it as it is I cant do anything with it.
I am not sociable so am fortunate in that respect but, but , but so many buts.

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Hi tillwemeetagain,
Thanks for your post. It helps to know that there are others living through a similar situation. I find it most difficult during the day if I don’t have anything to fill my time and having messages as a response or responding to them helps fill a small slot. As you say, a few days is not long enough for the pain to fade and we must hope it does in the long term, although the memories of 45years will never fade. You say you are not sociable but you are the first responder to my post which must make you feel special. Sorry if I am blathering on but it is how I am at the moment. Take care.

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Hi Mike1
The memories although sad because in the beggining its more about memories of what happened in time slowly the good ones appear if only briefly but hopefully in time replace the now sad ones a.
Filling time i find concentrating on one thing impossible so have many things on the go but one day will finish at least one. Not today not to soon.
Special Indeed :blush: i have a small social circle but often like alone time.
Your not blabbering just talking and say whatever comes to mind for however long you can write. It doesnt matter if it long or short

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Hi Mike 1
I lost my wife 8 weeks ago & like you I would have been celebrating my wedding Anniversary mine is this Sunday it would have been 23 years.
My wife was diagnosed in Aug 2019 with Metastatic breast Cancer that had gone to her bones she was only 51 & like you with this Virus it is hard as there are no Bereavement groups.
We have a 13 year old Daughter we are both suffering & yes it is part of me that is missing & absolutely heartbroken.
Good luck for the future I hope some groups open up for you.

Thanks for your comments. It doesn’t matter how we lose them the pain seems to be the same. Talking with someone who has lost his wife for whatever reason is a more understanding discussion than those who have not suffered the loss.
Concentrating on anything is hard, you seem to always drift back to the same subject, especially if you wake up in the middle of the night ( which I do, usually several times) . My daughter is older and I have two grandchildren so she is occupied with her own family as well as grieving. I wish I could help her more as she is, with her husband, being very good to me.
We all keep going back to memories, good and hard.
I hope your good memories keep coming.
Waiting for groups to restart may take a while, let’s hope not too long!