I lost my wife

I recently lost my wife to cancer she was the love of my life, we were together for 27
years and have three beautiful daughters. I miss her so much, I cry for her every day I would have gladly swapped places with her. I’m struggling to cope with the grief and heartbreak I can’t see any future i feel so lonely and lost

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Hi
Very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband to cancer 16 months ago it’s a hard lonely journey. I have a daughter and a son whom try there best to help me at times as selfish as it sounds I forget there grieving for there dad. I hope you and your daughters are with you supporting each other. I found I have learnt to live without my husband now I did not for about a year just wanted to be with him hitting rock bottom I had to move forward. Be there for each other x

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Hi, my girls are very loving I too sometimes forget they are grieving, I’m so sad for them losing mum it’s so horrible, my eldest is 27 and is no longer living at home, the other two 17 and 14 are at home with me being young they’re always out with friends, that’s the worst time for me, the house is so quiet and feels empty

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I’m sorry that you are on this journey that none of us want to be on. I lost my husband without any warning in March. He went out for a run, collapsed and died. I have two children - one was 19 and went to find him with me, the other is 23. It is a hard journey and sometimes all you can do is take it one breath at a time. You can sign up for counselling here or with Cruse and I found my GP very helpful. Also, look at refugeingrief.com - it is written by someone who is a therapist but also lost her partner so she knows what it is like. Keep posting here, people will be very supportive.

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So sorry for your loss It’s a dreadful journey, my wife was finally admitted to hospital at the beginning of April she had stage 4 cancer and there was nothing could be done she passed away 12 days later on my birthday, life’s been awful ever since thankyou for the contacts I feel counseling would be a help

It’s horrible how so many dates that were things to look forward to are now dates that we dread. Your birthday would be hard anyway but now, it will be harder. Winston’s Wish is another good place to check for help for your children. Just try to accept support from those who offer it, although most won’t understand they may be able to help in different ways. Take care

Hi Martyn, so sorry to hear about your wife, I’m going through the same with regards to our wives.
How I feel and have been feeling is something I’ve never encountered before in my life.
I’ve had similar feelings but in no way as intense, strong and overpowering as these.
I cry a lot as well and I feel very little hope for the future and indeed the present.
What’s the point I ask myself.
I don’t know is the answer.
I just keep going for now as there is others who I need to be there for and hopefully they need me to be there.
Its difficult mate, I need every last bit of strength sometimes to do the most basic thing, sometimes I don’t have it but that’s OK cos I’m I’m not Superman.
I hope you have a better day tomorrow and if you ever need an ear just shout.
Take care Martyn

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I think one of the hardest things is answering the question - what is the point now? I am carrying on for other people in my family but that doesn’t give us a personal purpose in life. That is what I am struggling with. My purpose, especially at this stage in my life, was to spend time doing things with my husband and having that time together. The things I am trying to fill my time with don’t come anywhere close and never will.

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Hi Craig2 jules4 thanks for the replies, I have exactly the same feeling what’s the point? I’ve lost my world and my future, I have to be here for the children, it feels like I’m just marking time. The majority of people who were there at the beginning some of them close family rarely call if at all I suppose that’s to be expected, life goes on as they say, mine has stopped. My thoughts are with you

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Hi
Strange how family and friends are not there after a short time at first they are but I suppose they have to get on with there life’s. Mick and my friends of 30 years have not really bothered with me over the last year I’m talking really good friends as well I think to myself mick isn’t here there not bothering any more. People really do not understand our grief do they Take care

I was listening to a song today- Life goes on even when the thrill of living has gone. That just about sums it up.

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Hi
It is strange and a little disappointing, especially with close family and friends of many years, it is how it is I suppose. They don’t understand, when people ask if I’m alright I just say ‘getting there slowly’ whatever that means. Take care

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Hi Martyn
I lost my husband of 40years suddenly very recently I know it’s soon but I can’t see how I’m ever going to get over this. We were together from a young age have 2 daughters. It’s so hard each day but the evenings and weekends are the hardest. He don everything for me and I now find myself wondering what’s the point now he is not here. I know what you mean about people being around then they move on and you feel totally alone.

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So sorry for your loss it’s a dreadful time, and so lonely, everything seems pointless and there’s no light at the end of the tunnel. I can’t get motivated to do any lately, constantly tired but can’t sleep, nights are awful as you say weekends are hardest, I so hope things will improve for all of us going through this, cherish the memories, take care.

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Totally understand it’s hard to just get up in the morning. Especially at weekends as you just know it’s going to be a long day. I know all of us on here are feeling the same and it’s good to know. Take care of yourself and your family

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2and a half years ago I lost my husband of 40 years. I don’t cry as much now and feel I’m drowning in self pity some days but it is definitely getting slightly easier - the phrase take it one day at a time is very true. Try to go out every day if only for an hour- sometimes I visit friends or just go to the supermarket and sometimes just drive around aimlessly for an hour, I find it hard to get motivated still but try my best. My sympathies are with everyone on here and pray you all continue to cope with your grief in the best possible way - best wishes to you allxxxx

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lost my Darling wife Tanya coming up for nearly a year we would have been married nearly 25 years she was only 51 she passed away from Metastatic Breast Cancer that had spread to the bones and later to the liver.
We also have a 14 year old Daughter & we both miss Tanya every hour of the Day so much it hurts it is coming into a empty house with out her in it the house feels so empty & I feel so lonely without her here :broken_heart:
I also lost my Dad 12 hours later & I think sometimes I feel what have I done so wrong in life. :broken_heart:

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It is so hard Geoff. My husband was only 50 when he just collapsed and died. My children are a bit older than your daughter but it was such a shock for us all. I know what you mean about the house - it used to be a home with my husband here, now although it looks the same, it’s not. My husband died just after my mother’s vascular dementia diagnosis and his death has caused my MIL to become incapacitated, then my Aunty died.
Ike you, I sometimes wonder what I have done to deserve all of this. Sending hugs

Thank you very much x

Hi Geoffs so sorry for your loss, I was with my lady for 27 years, I made the effort today to go to a local pub to meet a friend on their birthday, everyone left, I found myself on my own, very lonely, I realized yes I am alone, everyone has gone home to their lives I’ve lost mine

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