I’m supposed to be having a good time! My daughter has taken me away on a spa weekend for my birthday. A lovely thing for her to do - but I am hating it. It is full of young couples having a good time. I don’t want to join in. I am sat in my room crying my eyes out. At least at home I can be miserable without feeling guilty.
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Dear Jaydel
I am so sorry. Life is such a challenge now without our loved ones and everywhere we turn we see couples and wonder why we were not allowed to continue to have our loved ones with us. I am sat here on a rainy day still in my dressing gown. Was meant to go up to the beach where we scattered the ashes but it is too cold and the car decided to cause issues yesterday and I am scared to drive distances alone.
I hope that you are able to find a little bit of joy with your daughter at some point this weekend.
Thinking of you.
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Thank you Sheila.
When I see your posts I always think of Northumberland. A favourite holiday spot for Brian and me and our dog. This July we should have been in a cottage in Alnmouth - but I cancelled the booking while he was in hospital waiting for his operation - never thinking we would never visit Northumberland again.
Dear Jaydel
Thank you. Northumberland is a beautiful place and we did visit Alnmouth on a number of occasions. As long as there are no issues on the A1 it is less than an hours drive up to Bamburgh and the surrounding beaches from where we live.
I hope that you have managed to enjoy spending time with your daughter.
Take care.
Sheila
Hi Jaydel
I know exactly how you feel. I had a lovely day out with my friend yesterday for birthdays and I was so sad that I wasn’t out with my lovely man. Today is a family meal and I just can’t shake off the dreadful low mood. I will of course put on a face for them.
I just want to hear him say “I love you” one more time. I would do anything to have a minute with him. He passed so suddenly 8 months ago and I am still living in limbo.
I am so grateful for this forum. It helps that I am not alone in feeling like this.
Stay strong.
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Thanks Laney. I’m home now and I feel so much better not having to try to look like I’m enjoying myself. It was the first time I had been away since Brian died 3 months ago and I don’t think I coped all that well. It somehow feels better to feel miserable at home. I’m still trying to find my way through and one of the things I have done is to book trips to see people and do things and I’m beginning to think maybe I’m not ready to try and do so much at once. Didn’t help that it was my birthday - first significant ‘event’ since Brian died. Oh dear, so hard to know what to do.
Should not feel guilty, about enjoying something, I had a few beers with my son, from a previous relationship, on Friday, then spent Saturday on my own, the big hole in my life will never be filled, but maybe in time it might not feel so deep, I sincerely hope this is true for all.
Why should you feel guilty for being alive?
And not veingctaken instead of your man ?
I used to many years ago jaydel 