I’m so sad

It’ll be 11 weeks tomorrow since I lost my beloved husband. In the earlier days, once the shock had passed, it was just about getting through each hour, then each day. It’s not getting any easier, I’ve been back at work for a couple of weeks on a phased approach and work is helping. But, the nights are so so very hard, I feel so sad and my friends and family have been amazing but I can’t keep calling them to cry ( they’d be fine with it) but they’ve got their own lives. I feel so sad tonight, so alone and I just want my babe here with me, I take his dressing gown to bed every night and just smell him. I talk to him all the time when I’m in the house but I’m not getting the feeling he’s here? How are others coping please? :broken_heart::smiling_face_with_tear::broken_heart:xxxx

7 Likes

What makes you think we are?

4 Likes

I’m not. It’s coming up to eight weeks now and I’m still struggling to adjust to being alone. I spend a lot of time crying and had never realised that grief could cause such physical pain, my heart is literally breaking.
My family and friends have been amazing, especially my two daughters but I am trying not to put so much reliance on them as they have their own lives to live.
I’m hoping that as time passes I can learn to adjust to my new normality and stop being so reliant on others to help me through

6 Likes

I too am trying to become as self reliant as physically possible but it is so hard and lonely.

4 Likes

We’re “surviving” arent we @Pudding :slight_smile:

3 Likes

Takes time though … just go slow for now and keep bring kind.to.yourself because as you say it is a physical pain.and frankly can be quite exhausting in these early months x

3 Likes

I am only really existing most of the time. Try to be positive, go out, meet friends and have joined U3A, but I miss him so much and hate living alone. Sorry to be negative, but that’s how I feel,

4 Likes

Have you got a cat or dog @Rome18 ? Might help with living alone ? I honestly dunno how i would be without my puppy. She is still a bit naughty but i.love her so much … and such a companion … doesnt take all the pain away but helps xxxx

2 Likes

Thanks Deb, but I live in an apartment and we aren’t allowed pets. xx

3 Likes

Aw … thats a shame … was just an idea x

1 Like

Thank you anyway xx

2 Likes

Thank you all, it’s just so hard. My Glyn was the love of my life, my soul mate, my best friend, it’s all so so unfair, he should be here with me. :broken_heart::smiling_face_with_tear:

4 Likes

I know same … same for a lot of us … we understand xxx

3 Likes

@Jackiepadders it’s nearly 25 weeks since my husband passed away. I would say I’m coping most of the time but it’s so hard. I keep busy with work, family, friends, walking, keeping the house in order and the million other things I have to now be solely responsible for. Anything really that keeps my mind occupied. But like you I struggle with the evenings. Sending hugs to all of us on this journey.

3 Likes

I am now nearly six months on from loosing my wonderful husband. I am over the absolute gut wrenching devastation I felt when I first lost him! However, as I said to my daughter today I still feel like I’m running on adrenaline and don’t think I’ll be truly happy ever again. I just try and keep busy and get through each day as best as I can, while all the time wanting to make him proud of the way I am coping! We not only owe it to the loved ones we’ve lost but to ourselves! J x

3 Likes

Aww, I get it. I’ll never be happy again, I was so happy with the love of my life :pensive::smiling_face_with_tear::broken_heart:

4 Likes

To be honest, I cannot think of anything that will make me truly happy again, now that I haven’t got my wonderful husband with me,

5 Likes

I feel like I was so lucky to have met and married my husband so young but it makes it so difficult now. I feel like a part of me is missing and I am so lonely even though I have great friends and family. I am hoping things will improve but I feel like I am going backwards. Love to all going through this.x

5 Likes

Thank you @Billie7 i feel the same … and thanks for your kind words to us all on this rubbish path we are on !!! xx

2 Likes

@Billie7 I too met my husband young and have never lived alone. I feel so sad all the time, but i put my make up on, socialise, go swimming and walking but with a big rock in my chest. Today our lovely friends treated me to lunch at the Ivy in Bath. Weve been friends for over 50 years. We missed my husband so much, but i did have a nice time. Now I’ve come down to earth with a bump, hurting and missing him. Its almost 6 months for me and i have been lucky to have fantastic support, but i want him here by my side. I’m due to retire in October and we had lovely plans. Im not sure what the future holds for me, but i have to make it the best i can for him. Love to you all.

4 Likes