I miss her so much

Thankyou all, I never knew grief until now. My June is gone, I just find that hard to accept. I never knew you could hust so much

1 Like

I can’t describe the pain. No words get anywhere near. If you grabbed my heart and pulled it out that would be less painful.
But take each hour at a time. I try to.

1 Like

It’s so dreadful so many of us suffering the same pain and loneliness
I miss him
Had a good day today at work tho I cried at 10.30 when I always used to phone to check he was ok
But the minute I got home the silence the loneliness
Thank goodness my dog was pleased to see me
It’s terrifying that I could go days without speaking to anyone , the weekends are a nightmare of misery .

1 Like

I would give everything up just to have one more hour. Life is unbearable. It’s a life I no longer want to be apart of. It’s not wanted and my brokenheart can’t take anymore of this endless pain.

2 Likes

Jay my heart breaks for you and every one on here and myself what will we do I don’t know I wish I could take away my pain your pain and every ones on here

2 Likes

Jay, I know exactly how you feel, it’s like a physical hurting. i don’t know how I got through the weekend. Met with the Minister yesterday, lovely lady. I was in tears after 5 minutes of telling her about June. Today I found myself asking why she went and being angry, now back to the new normal, just feeling down. I don’t know why I’m still here. I’m dreading the funeral, not sure I’ll be able to hold it together, but I owe her that.

2 Likes

Hi Dave. You don’t owe her. Please don’t feel you have to keep a stiff upper lip at the funeral she wouldn’t want you to bottle it up. I lost my husband of 3yrs and he was only 64. He had been a submariner for 24 yrs before I met him and I can tell you that every single Navy guy was crying but I thought it just showed how much he was loved. I was lucky as only a week before lockdown. I hope and pray the funeral goes as well as expected and we are all here if you need us after it. Take care.

It’s amazing how you get through the funeral I think it’s surreal and I couldn’t get my head around it was Micks horrible life at the moment I only hope it’s gets a little easier my mom states in time you learn to live without them it’s a different life but I want my old life back so much x

1 Like

Shonzie, thank you. I’m in tears. I’m not worried about crying, I love my June and she loves me and I’m proud to say that. It’s just that I feel numb and empty and lost. The Minister will tell friends about June, but they already know her. How do I tell them about my June - my special girl, the best person ever

1 Like

You just have your special girl best person ever hoping you get through the funeral hard as it is

1 Like

Dave at my allisons funeral on the 16th I told them how she was special to me. Not our close personal stuff but how she showed I was important to her. I also took some large print photos to show about our good times.
I managed to compose myself at the cemetery gates untill the cars pulled up at chapel. She was 53 and still working as a nurse. There was about 20-30 people from her ward clapping. Was not expecting that. That totally wrecked my composure.
You will get through it. You don’t know how you will but you do.

I found that when I started writing about Ian for the celebrant I couldn’t stop
I was crying as I wrote but I got it all down cos I wanted everyone to know how much I loved him
After the funeral I must admit I felt sad but I was coping but the weekend after I completely crashed crying all the time anxious worried lost x

1 Like

Thank you all. I’m starting to believe in the kindness of strangers, but we’re not strangers, we all have something in common, as well as not wanting to be here.

Thank you all, somehow, this helps. I don’t understand your pain and you cannot understand mine - but we’re all in pain

(Post removed by author, will be automatically deleted in 336 hours. Deleted by accident? Click the flag button or email online.community@sueryder.org to request it re-published.)

I wrote an eulogy for my husband only allowed 6 family members my son read it out I couldn’t hold it together Mick had so many friends so when lockdown is well and truely over I will have a celebration party of his life for him as he was always the life and soul at any gatherings x

1 Like

Unfortunately we now have too much in common. We share an incurable pain that daily presents itself. It is an unwelcome part of our new lives.
Every morning when I wake I have a fresh reminder that I am now living in hell. It’s a new experience and one I don’t want to experience for long.

I can only say it gets better with time! Not that it even completely disappears but in time the pain will become less severe. I speak as one who lost a very young wife. Had been married for 10 years and had two kids aged 5 and 2. It was a devastating time of my life but I had to stay as strong as I could for the kids. I did not hide my tears from them and I cried almost continually for years. It is 10 years now and I have remarried but every now and then I do have moments of deep pain triggered by memories and present situations that may not be ideal.
Sorry to learn of your pain. Do talk about it to anyone and everyone you can… that helped me feel better and better.

Hi gives us on here a little hope 3 months since my husband passed my children are 24 and 26 granddaughter 2 they keep me going but my future without Mick I can’t see xx Sorry you lost your wife so young with 2 little ones. Happy for have found new love and life.

Thank you so much and sorry for losing your husband. I also lost my father almost 4 years ago and so my mother is widowed too - loss of spouse is certainly the worst thing at any age!

Yes the loss of my wife has to be the worst experience ever lost my mum 2 years ago. She had vascular dementia and smoked all her live. My wife was healthy. She was a healthy eater. We never had many take aways or fried anything yet she went at 53.
31 day on and the pain every morning with a empty bed is unbearable.