Got home today from a night spent at mums.
I miss the butterflies i had when i knew i was coming home seeing Colin either in the kitchen or sprawled out on the floor watching tv in the lounge. Oh my God, this is so hard. I wish it had been me i really do. I was looking at mum last night and i envied her that she is 89, i have another 30 plus years before i will see him again. How the hell am i going to go 30 years without seeing him?
Got home today from a night spent at mums.
It’s hard, it just is and we just do. We take it slow and steady a day at a time.
For me, 7 days from 9 months, I’ve adapted to him not being here. I understand he will not come through the door, even though now and again I think he will. The more days that he’s doesn’t come home, you do adjust.
Overall, I’m in a better place. The burden of life on my own, frightens me at times and as someone posted yesterday, it’s lonely and boring at times.
But we’re doing it, and I do have really good days now too. Although it doesn’t feel like it now, you will have good days too x
Today was a hard day to get through like you say some days are better than other’s.
It has been over 4 months for me i still miss hom always will but have accepted he us not coming back and somehow i have to relearn how to deal with things some are harder than others to do. He did everything in the house and garden and i now have to learn new skills or else pay someone to do jobs i cant tackle.
Life will never be the same now.
Take care x
Yes i have found that…doing things that Colin used to do. I found myself on utube the other day when the seal around the cooker came away and it guided me through replacing it. That was Colins domain. I have a garage full of tools that i have no idea what they do. Jigsaws, nail guns, glass cutters, not to mention the upteen screwdrivers,plyers, spanners, nails that are bulging out of every drawer and lots of thingymebobs:). There are lots of those.
Same here he had a tool for everything.
Some still boxed never used or just used once. Power tools garden tools i think i have at least 6 drills of various types lined up in garage or charging. Dont know what to do with them seems a shame they are just lying there not being used. I cant bring myself to move them have tried to get all tools to one area in garage but not managed to do yet. Guess i just leave them till i can sort out as they are not doing any harm. Maybe need to keep a couple to try to learn to use and maybe sell the ones not used i really dont know what to do for the best. Not very handy DIY so not going to use them.
What to do ?
Galaxy 75 my partner was a builder and I have a lockup full of tools, materials. Plumbing fittings and lord knows what else plus electrical tools in a cupboard in the flat. I can’t bring myself to even consider sorting them. My SOL and Granddaughters husband had said they will come up at some point and sort them out and take them away. I don’t want to push them as they both work long hours and are busy but I’m now getting to the point where I want them gone so I don’t have to keep seeing them
Yes i know the feeling when my husband passed away in June lots of offers from hus brother and my brother that they would help me sort out things. So far have had to deal with everything on my own. Have not seen my brother since funeral i asked a few times for help in the beginning but he was always too busy so ended up getting taxis to do things so now dont ask.
My husbands brother or my sister in law has sent me a couple of texts but otherwise no other contact. My husband would be upset i know he was such a caring perso and if it was the other way around he would have gone outnof his way to help anyone which he did when he was alive. Life is tough now on your own but somehow we manage.
Taje care x
Wow, it sounds like you could open your own store.
I will get into the garage and give it a sort out, get all the tools together just so i can have a clear space in there.
Send a sunny day and i shall get started.
Yeh you can laugh a bit cant you , although i still have days when its tough 10 monrhs into this awful journey ! We done well to survive it i think. Its the hardest thing in my life ive ever had to do … but i can enjoy some things now. Im particularly looking forward to 4 nights in tenerife with my daughter and grandaughter who is 5 and is so excited … and i have made some new friends too on this hard journey … so some positives. But its just baby steps. But at a time - making sure that we really look after ourselves as best we can xx
That sounds really positive @Deb5. Have a lovely time in Tenerife, I went many years ago. It was lovely.
Tools are going to be the least of my worries of what I find in the garage. Norman was not handy. I will probably find 20 tins of furniture polish or 10 lots of bleach. I meant to look last Sunday but knee was hurting. Will try again this weekend.
Yeh went there twice with my husband and its lovely isnt it and still warm in November which is why a lot of people go then ofcourse xx
Hi Deb.enjoy this time away with your daughter & grand daughter.l went there May 22 with Garry before he got ill.its lovely & we enjoyed it.be kind to yourself xx
Thanks @Ava2 yeh im trying to be kind to myself … we need to dont we ? You too X