I need help

I lost my fiancé 4 1/2 weeks ago, I’m struggling to function, and having dreadful thoughts of not wanting to carry on without him, he suffered with mental health had had been using drugs, he has emptied all of the bank accounts and I can’t even pay for the funeral, I need some help.


@Tracy74 - I am so sorry your beloved has died - this is a terrible thing for you to experience, to deal with. Please know there are people here who understand and who will be here to listen and to help as much as they can. Here is some info on help with funeral costs:Get help with funeral costs (Funeral Expenses Payment): How it works - GOV.UK - hopefully this will be useful. The funeral director should be able to advise you on what to do. Hold tight, hold on - there is help out there x

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So sorry for what’s happened to you. Did you have children? You can claim bereavement benefit too.
Sorry nothing will help you instantly. Will his parents help of yours. Sorry with no information it’s hard to know what to suggest.

You’ll be feeling such a huge range of emotions, just take it an hour at a time and make a list of what you need help with and work through it one at a time, prioritising what’s most urgent.

We don’t have children together, so I am unable to get support as we were not married either.

I spoke to dwp and they told me I wasn’t entitled to help, things are such a mess.

I tried to call these people and they told me I was not entitled to help, it’s such a mess, I don’t know if I can take this anymore.

I wonder if a call to the Undertaker or the local Vicar would help? There must be a way to solve this problem - you will sadly not be the first person who has money worries like this and there must be established routes for help. You could perhaps set up a Go Fund Me account and see if people will join in? Keep in touch on here, @Tracy74 - we are going to figure this one out together x

I have set up a go fund me page, it’s just not doing as well as I would have hoped, they can cremate him for around £1000 but that is with our me be able to attend, I didn’t get to see him after he died as the coroner held onto him for so long so it’s the only way I get to say goodbye to him, his family won’t help, but want half of his ashes, that I can cope with, I just need to be able to do this for me and him.

So sorry you’re going through this.

My husband (terminally I’ll) is having a direct cremation so there won’t be a funeral. Instead we will have a party to celebrate his life (we both agreed that funerals are just bloody depressing). Maybe some kind of party/gathering is something you may consider? It doesn’t have to be expensive and maybe his family will help?

You will find a way to say goodbye in your own way. It may just be a case of “thinking outside the box”. Sometimes a slightly different approach is so much more fitting for a person xx

I didn’t get to say goodbye, there was no warning, such kind words you have given me, thankyou, I have great people around me, I’m just struggling to find the will to carry on, I’m learning the devastation suicide causes, it’s just the one thing I think will help me to take a step forward x


I had a direct cremation for my husband, it was so much less stressful than a full cremation and my husband would never have wanted that for me. The undertaker was wonderful and told us the time and day of his cremation and we planned our own service at home with all the family he loved and who loved him. We had a lovely buffet breakfast and then we went for a walk on the beach as he had mentioned to me not long before he hadn’t seen the sea for a long time. It really was a lovely special day and a few of us have decided that when our time comes we would do the same. I was so glad I had the chance to tell him I loved him and was with him when he passed away. You will be able to say goodbye to him in your own way and it will be special. Hugs and take care of yourself x

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