It’s been 8 months now since the sudden passing away of my partner of 29 years.
After being ill for the last 4 years she died suddenly in hospital when just the day before she had the best day ever she even wrote on my birthday card which was a few days later and the following day they were opening up the visiting to others which up until then had just been myself and daughter.
One of the causes they put down to sepsis which still angers me as they were taking so many blood samples that I thought they would have picked up on it.
I feel so alone when I am at home alone , I am fine at work now and my work family give me plenty of love and support I am not embarrassed to cry in front of them.
I feel without purpose is it wrong to want someone to share my life with I have family and friends but even in our local pub surrounded by people that care I still feel so alone.
I am in tears writing this but I am hoping it will help in some way.
I know the Feeling ALONE My Beautiful Man passed 7 months ago on I have friends family ;!I come home to empty house it’s not a home anymore; I go to friends all couples and feel the odd one out ; so Lonely; but that’s the badge of honour for having been with my soul mate for 42 years ; I keep Strong xxx
@Keith1957 my wife died in july 2022, we had been together since we were 15yrs old , she was only 58yrs . I too am having a crisis about the loneliness of being on your home. I have a lot of plates to spin, rennovating our new house, looking after my daughter as she has a young 19mth baby, getting over the traumatic watching her die suddenly. Tryi g ti get back to a highly comllex job after being off for 6mths. I have had counselling, go out with friends and my daughter, this fills the day until i am back on my own with my grief and utter loneliness. I have said this is the biggest life challenge i have faced. At the moment it takes all my energies just keeping it together. Know for me building resliance for loss of a life partner is going to be a long time. Keep safe my friend.
Hello @Keith1957 - I am so sorry that your beloved has died. Among all the difficult things we have to face, having to make all the decisions is one of the hardest. What I have learned this year (my husband died just over a year ago), is when I can’t decide something - I just leave it. Some days, I feel completely clear that it is time to do something, like sorting out his clothes and taking them to a charity shop, for example. Other things, like what do with his ashes, I still can’t decide on - so I do nothing. If you can get some financial advice, that might help with your decision on retirement, but if you are not ready, sit tight. It will become clear when the time is right. My very best wishes to you, my friend, hold tight.
@Keith1957
There IS no right or wrong so nothing you feel you want is wrong, even if it were different from what others feel.
Trust in yourself and, as @Vancouver says (always wise words from Vancouver) take your time. Pushing ourselves to make decisions can, I believe, lead to us wishing we had done something different.
I am lucky that I don’t feel what I would call lonely - but miss that one extraordinary man completely. Nobody else would fill that space or take that pain away so it wouldn’t help me at all.
We are all different and faced with similar situation we react differently.
Thankfully, here we can say whatever we feel and nobody that I have ever seen criticises or judges.
hi, i lost my partner 10 weeks ago today, he died while i was out shopping, cardiac arrest, he was only on blood pressure tablets and very fit, i found him dead on the bed, 17 years together , now i come home to an empty flat, i know how you feel, when i am with people i still feel lonely and most days i cry,
@Jon731 - I am so very sorry your partner has died, and so suddenly, with no warning. 17 years together - you were partners in everything. 10 weeks is such a long time and at the same time, no time at all. Grief surrounds us in these days, grief, absence, silence, endings. My friend, keep walking, keep going, keep taking the next step. For me, a year in, I have found that grief changes, softens somehow, turns from a foe into, oddly, a friend - a fellow believer in those we have lost and our love for them. To get to here, I walked through the storm. It is still raining and blowy out for me, my friend, but I am better, stronger, ok. I keep going, slowly, faltering sometimes, but on, on as best I can and it is getting easier. Hold tight, keep walking, you have this community here right with you. It will be ok x
Hi Keith. I lost my partner to cancer 15 months ago .We’d been together 28 years.She was 65, two months short of her 66th birthday. I’ve been retired 6 years and now live alone in a very small one bedroom flat. I have one great friend who comes to see me once a week and relatives not far away who I see quite often but I’m lonely . I’m still getting upset every day and there’s tears so you’re not alone in that.Best wishes.
Hi
I still feel alone whoever I am with too. I don’t want to be with any of them and circumstances have meant we have to be with people we don’t really want to be with.
Our person is not here and the feelings we have are so profound rhat they are irreplaceable.
It is so lonely.
There are no solutions because we cannot get back what we have lost.
It is such a different painful existence.
We just have to go day to day filling the days.
Xx
My Beautiful Man passed 7 months ago on I have friends family ;!I come home to empty house it’s not a home anymore; I go to friends all couples and feel the odd one out ; so Lonely; but that’s the badge of honour for having been with my soul mate for 42 years ; I keep Strong xxx
I so understand every word you have said