I recently lost my sibling

Good evening. My older sister of 39 died this past week. Just a few things im struggling with, firstly its the guilt of not making as much effort as i could whilst she was here. Secondly its learning to carry on doing daily things such as going to the shop, it almost doesnt feel right, like i SHOULD grieve but on the other hand i know its not right just to stay home crying all the time. Ha
s anyone else had similar emotions as above?

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Hello @Luc1,

I’m part of the Online Community team and I can see that you are new to the community - I’d like to thank you for bravely starting this thread and sharing how you are feeling. I’m so sorry to hear about your sister. Most community members have sadly experienced the death of a loved one and so will understand some of what you are going through.

I’m sure someone will be along to offer their support, but I wanted to share a few Sue Ryder resources with you that might be helpful.

I really hope you find the community helpful and a good source of support and I also hope you feel you can access more support should you need it.
Thank you again for sharing – please keep reaching out and know that you are not alone.
Take care,


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Alex, thank you so much for the above links they are very helpful right now. Kind regards, Luc

Sorry for ure loss. I too lost my sister in August my mum in April. I don’t no what day off week we are on most days. And too say life is pointless is an understatement. The whole shopping and doing daily things without my sis and my mum and my brother who I lost in 2020. That’s my growing up family all gone. Just me left. My sis was only 56… and I don’t no how to function. Sorry for ure loss. Keep on these sites and chatx

Hi @Caz2010 im so sorry you have lost so much. I know what you mean about what day of the week. Even this morning i didnt realise it was the weekend still. As much as its good to talk like i have done a bit i also find going for walks alone has helped in a sense, as nobody knows how i truly feel it has helped me reflect on a few things a little bit x

I want to start walking. But my body has went into some pain mode. I don’t understand it’s like every joint muscle and tendon suddenly aches. And the pain is awful. Even bending hurts. I need speak to physio to see what’s happening is it grief as I’m not coping at all

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I really hope the physio can help you @Caz2010 that sounds tough

I lost my younger brother at the end of September and I feel exactly the same. Apart from knowing he’s no longer there, I have loads of guilt… guilt because life was too busy so that we didn’t spend enough time together while he was here, guilt because I’m here doing normal things like watching the tele and taking my daughter to football, or laughing at films with the kids, guilt because I couldn’t protect him (im his big sister) and guilt because he went before me…( he was only 47 and im 49). And he made a good life for himself where as I and just in a constant road of failed relationships and crappy health which prevents me from working now! I swap from being angry at the world for taking him and questioning regularly what the point of everything is, to being hit by a sledge hammer of grief! And also im frightened for the future cos I always assumed he’d be here to help me navigate my way through life, especially when we loose our parents! Now im left on my own to deal with that. (I am single so it’s just me and my kids).

I also trying to be strong for my Mum who isn’t coping AT ALL and she has pushed me away and doesn’t want to see me (we used to see each other at least once a week, she used to come over for lunch and dinner every Wednesday but since my brother passed she’s been to me twice and is full of excuses as to why she can’t come over). And im trying to offer emotional and practical support to my sister in law and nephew.

It’s the most heartbreaking thing I’ve ever had to deal with in my life

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