Dear Sheila thank you so much for trying to help us new to this. It’s very frightening and I try not to look too far ahead. The future looks very bleak and I really don’t want to go there. I guess we are all just waiting to be with them again and even that isn’t guaranteed. Xx
My John was also happy, we had just over a year in our new house (lived 28 years in the previous one) finally he felt he had the house he could be proud off, ( lol his forever home) a very large garden, garage, 3 toilets! he loved the garden. it seems so cruel that he has died. I can understand the wanting to punch someone, i so wanted to scream at the doctors for letting him die. but sensible head knows they did their best. The anger will leave you. Xx
Hi all
I too have had experiences of seeing or feeling my husband. Don died nearly 9 years ago and I still miss him just as much. You get used to living on your own because you have to but you don’t get used to not having them with you. About 12 months after he died I was in bed awake and I felt his side of the bed go down as if he had just sat on the bed and lie down. Then it felt as if he had stood up and came round to my side of the bed and sat down again. My step-children thought it was all my imagination until Christmas 3 years ago. I had put decorations out and Don really liked a particular snow globe that played a tune. I had put this on the mantle piece where it normally goes. My stepson was with me having a cup of tea when the snow globe started to play the tune. He jumped a mile especially when he picked it up and it was switched off. The boys stayed with me after Don died and on that first night I went to bed and the boys stayed in the lounge. When we got up next day the eldest asked if I had knocked the door during the night, I hadn’t got up from bed. He thinks his dad just came to say hi. I sometimes see a shadow out of the corner of my eye at home as if someone is there. It only lasts a few seconds but I definitely see something. It happened 2 weeks ago. I talk to Don all the time at home and I feel comforted that he still likes to visit. We were married 36 years, he was 28 years older than me and his 4 children are around my age. What is sad is that as the years go by I see my stepchildren less. Their opinion is that being their age I can cope which I can but I miss them.
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My Husband John, was very much “man about the house” i too have experinced things going wrong, but I have coped, sorted out repairs. the strangest one in our hall light. John had fixed it himself a few months before he passed. but it stoped working about 6 weeks after he died, my son had a look at it and could not get it working so i called an electrician, he was really puzzled after trying a number of things he said to me, ‘I dont know why its not working it should be’ and then the light came on, and is working fine with no further problems. 
Hi. Hyannie. If you look on my thread ‘Psychic Phenomena’ you will see many examples of what you have experienced. It’s nether strange or weird but something that happens to so many. It’s good you have come on here and been honest about it. So many get put off talking about it because of ridicule and so lose the opportunity to share.
I wonder why your stepchildren think because you are older you can cope better? Age and time has very little to do with grief.
After a while you get to know if it’s imagination or reality. We can’t apply earthly responses to such things. Emotions and feelings can’t be described in words. We try and it helps, but it never fully covers the real feelings or the pain. Even after nine years the pain will occur now and then. Thanks for a very interesting post. John.
Hi. Sheila. No surprise there either. There is an old song about a grandfather clock. ‘And it stopped short, never to go again when the old man died’. It happens and it has been recorded. As Shakespeare so wisely said, .There is a lot more in heaven and earth than thou ever dreamt of in thy philosophy, Horatio’. (Hamlet).
Science can answer most thing but never things related to love and the heart. Blessings and take care.
Oh my goodness Lonely!! What a good example of what I have talked about on my thread ‘psychic phenomena’. Nothing you have said surprises me in the least. Yes, and it happens so often and it’s so sad. A ‘nutcase’. Sad that’s how so many psychic people are talked about. My wife had the gift of seeing so called ‘dead’ people walking about and sitting in the room shortly after they had passed, and often before she even knew about it. She was ridiculed as a child and so lost it for a while, but it came back as an adult. It is a gift and one to be cherished. I don’t have it but my research over the years has convinced me there is so much going on after one passes of which we have very little knowledge.
Thanks for that. Blessings. John.
Hi. Sheila. Dreams are very important but are so open to misinterpretation from those untrained in their analysis. I would not suggest for one moment that if you took his hand or got into the car you would die. That to me is where it all goes wrong. I think the dreams are asking you to enter his realm of thought. To realise he is not gone. We have no control over dreams. The unconscious sends us messages from way beyond our normal comprehension. It talks to us in symbols and metaphors.
A ‘phone box’ is where we communicate, get into touch with others way beyond our normal reach. The car is an object for getting us from one place to another, so that we can ‘move forward’ away from where we are. Is he telling you to move on?See what I mean? There is so much more to it than that. That’s not to say you should walk around all day in a cloud, of course not! It’s not death but reality. Has what the Spiritualist said put you off doing what you think right? Suggestion is very powerful.
Ask yourself would your loved one have wanted you to die?
Take care. Love and Blessings. John.
Yes Sheila. That’s fine. Take it as it comes. Dreams can be frightening, especially nightmares, but even they are telling us something. ‘He is just out of my reach’. That’s because he is, at the moment. Just a little doubt, if it creeps in, can lead to a distancing between you. Screaming is born of fear. We scream when we are afraid. But there is nothing to fear. Because it’s all unknown to us does not make it fearful. Mysterious, oh yes. The stress involved in bereavement is often under estimated. PTSD is very common in a grieving person. It is, after all, a life trauma. The answer is to let emotions come as they will. Bottling up can affect our physical health.
Take care. Love and very best wishes. John.
I have been reading all your messages, and I feel awful, my husband has only been gone since end of April, and I never see or feel any of these things. We were married 48 years and he was my whole life, always, and he loved me I know it, but I never get any of these sightings or feelings. I just feel empty…maybe he didnt know I loved him or something, but Why don’t I see and feel him with me
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Hi. Marbee and Welcome. Now this happens. Although I have made a study of the paranormal I see or hear nothing. I am not gifted in that way. It doesn’t stop my belief, but, like you I would love a sign. Alas, nothing happens. There is no way any of us can force these things, so please don’t feel upset about it. It makes no difference to my belief. It has nothing to do with him not loving you. Of course he does and always will, and so will you. Love never dies or can be altered or diminished. Try not to misconstrue what happens to others who see or hear things. It’s all very personal. It may happen or not. My wife was very psychic but after twenty months I have neither seen or heard from her, but she is still here in my heart and that’s all that matters.
Take care. Blessings. John.
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Hi Sheila
Love the story about the clock. I had many similar incidents happen to me. Shortly after he died the lights in the lamps in the bedroom all fused and even the main light wouldn’t come on. i sat on the floor crying and asked Brian to help me. I straight away started mending them and got all three lights working again and guess what the main light then came on again. His radio in the kitchen has come on twice around midnight although switched off. I pulled the plug out in the end. The lid on the cooker came down and hit me on the head. One of his painting in the bedroom fell down during the night. Hook still intact. Two photo’s fell off the table a couple of weeks ago. No reason for this to happen. There have been numerous things that have happened, non of which have frightened me except the painting falling off the wall in the middle of the night. I wait with anticipation at his next visit. Only last night I woke up to see a shadow going past the bed. Was it my imagination. I don’t think so.
Pat xxx
Thank you John, that helps a lot, thank you xx
Thank you so much Sheila, I feel so much better hearing your words, it is such a hard time trying to live without someone you have loved for so long. I so appreciate your lovely words and thank you xx
Well said Sheila, death hasn’t stopped us loving them, we’re still married people but who’s partners have died. I volunteered to be a married man, I didn’t volunteer to be a widower, so I won’t accept it.
D
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So agree with you Dave I can’t understand people not wearing their wedding rings. The year before my lovely Ron passed it was our Golden wedding and we took the family on a cruise and Ron and I renewed our vows and he bought me a special ring what a wonderful memory that was with all our lovely family with us it was so emotional. Little did we know what the following year was going to bring. So I agree I am still married and always will be as you said we signed up to be married not widowed ( what a horrible word) .I do realise how lucky we were to have 50 years together but as I have said before we always want more don’t we. Sending love and hugs to you. Xx Carol xx
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Thankyou Carol. I wear mine and will get june’s altered to fit. We spoke about renewing our vows but Juse always said the “I haven’t changed my mind so I don’t see the need”. As you say, we always want more. Love and hugs back
Night all
D
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Hi Dave that is strange your June said that about renewing your vows because I said the same thing but our granddaughter talked me into doing it on the cruise because she got so excited to see us renew them. Of course I am very very glad I did agree and Ron was so pleased. As I have said before we always said whenever one of us went first we will still be married and oh boy I am and love him more than ever. Love and hugs to you. Xx Carol xx
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Hi Carol and Dave. We can never have enough of a good thing. With regards to the renewing of vows - I always said that I haven’t broken my vows so why would I need to renew them… But Carol, for you, in hindsight, it was the right thing to do. 
You have memories of a wonderful family occasion. Love to you both. xx
Ok guys, who ever spoke about the Good Samaritan and the Kindness of Strangers… … i’m in bits tonight. June is my wife, my partner, my reaosn to be. i beleive that every day she and I made the decision to be with each other. Seperating is just so easy these days. I love my June, from when I first met her to this moment, and I’m so pround to say that she chose me. As far as I’m conecened I am am a married man in a strong relationship. I haven’t yet had to do any forms about my “status”, when I do, I think I’lk still put married.
Thank you all, just take care
D