i should feel blessed with what i have...

So why dont i feel blessed with what i have, well its something else that i want not what i still have but of course i can never have what i want again, because that life as i once knew it has all gone…Yes i try telling myself to be thankful and blessed for what i have now as i know things for me could be a whole lot worse…
For a start i could be homeless, i am not…for another i could have other serious illnesses on-top of my already PP-MS but i dont…I could be left penniless but i am not…Yes i should be counting my blessings so why am i finding this hard, well of course i would rather swap all this if only my Richard was given back to me…I have told Richard i dont care where we move to as long as we are together…well my next move is going to be all by myself…Richard will be making this journey with me as i carry him in my heart…

Jackie…

I understand Jackie. I feel very guilty at times for not being grateful for what I have. I know it could be worse to have other serious problems on top of this crushing grief. But when the light of your life is extinguished, your entire world dims. Everything was better with my loved one in my life. So sorry for your sadness and having to face moving on your own. Nothing or no one will fill this void we are left with. I wish I had answers but a year on and I still miss my Sister as much as ever, and the wound is still so raw. This life hurts every day. Take care and try to have a better day/week. Sister2 Xxx

You know Jackie I keep telling myself exactly the same.
I had thirty years of happy marriage to a lovely man. I was blessed (my previous husband used brute force a little too often). My Brian was kind and gentle.
I have a nice home, I can manage financially. I have a car, I live in a beautiful area but you know what you can keep telling yourself all these things over and over but all we want is our loved ones to walk back through the door. None of these things mean anything anymore.
You are making the right positive steps though Jackie. You have a lot to cope with at the moment but you will get there and of course Richard will be with you. How could he not be you loved each other.

Take care

Pat