I thought I am doing better

This morning I got up at 6:00 to prepare myself to go to the diabetic check-up later in the morning and afterward to the library to return a few items and pick up my magazine at my local corner shop. I went also to our local pound shop. Since yesterday I felt a kind of acceptance of my horrible situation and thought I am doing quite well. And here I am again… sitting on our couch and crying my eyes out and cannot stop. I wanted to do so much today and again just crying and wanting to wake up from this painful nightmare. I hate my existence. I hope that I am strong enough tomorrow to go to Aldi in Grays. It is over four months almost five months now that my beloved husband left me behind and it is not getting better or easier. Sending lots of love and hugs to everyone.

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Hi anna it sounds like you did all the things you planned so that was an achievement. In itself i think xx

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I know the feeling, I got up yesterday feeling a bit better and planned a 5 oclock in the morning visit to Aldi today because I have nothing in.I gradually got worse through the day and this morning could not face it, I’m going to try again tomorrow.
It’s 6 months since I lost my Joan, the fridge and 2 freezers used to be packed with food I now seem to live on cereal.
Keep your chin up.

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Dear bootsie, I have my freezers full of food I prepared for my husband to take to the office and get heated in the microwave. He loved my lentil soup so I made always a huge pot of it and put it in portions. I know it sounds stupid but I just cannot eat the soup without him and live mostly on sandwiches, salad, and the odd takeaway. Sending you lots of love and hugs.

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@Annaessex it still very early days. I lost my husband just over 6 months ago and I cry every day. I often scream out loud and shout. Acceptance if ever is such a long way ahead. I wish I could wake up from this horrendous nightmare and have my old life back. We have been robbed of our future plans and dreams. Just not fair. Hopefully you have good friends and support. Take care and big hugs xx

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@Annaessex It is still very early days, and just getting up out of bed is a massive achievement. Think baby steps if that helps and dont put any pressure on yourself. Im sorry for evèryones losses. Love to you all. Xx

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Do you cry everyday @Hazel.1966 - so do i still 6 months in … i was thinking today - why am i crying still ? Im still sad i suppose ?. At least i know somebody else does too .
I have odd day when i don’t cry but they’re usually few and far between tbh , in fact im sure ive been crying more recently …
Before all this.happened i never.used to.hardly cry you know but i .know that at sad times in my life i have.cried - but never as much as this ! xxx

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Yes I cry every day still and I expect I will continue to cry every day. I do wonder if the tears will ever dry up. Xx

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It’s 12 weeks since my husband died I cry every day. I make myself do things. Went to the dentist shed a few tears there too. I just wonder when they’ll subside a bit. Hugs to you all at least crying exhausts you so you manage some sleep xx

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Did you see on the post tonight … @Lonely got really upset ! :frowning:

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@Deb5 yes I did… such a shame. She seems a lovely lady and I always read her posts as very interesting and inspiring. bless her xx

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It is a shame. Maybe she will come back when she calms down ? I hope so xx

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Yes let’s hope so …I notice a few people have left since I have been posting on here. I hope that they are getting the support they need xx

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Have they ? Maybe they gone quiet or dealing with other.things ? Xx

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Yes I guess so. I remember Dottie in particular but she hasn’t posted anything for ages. X

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I wondered where Dottie is now and also Pollyjane and now loneley hope they will post again .Im 12 weeks in today and just need to know it will get less painfull and raw than it is now i feel excausted all the time love to you all xxx

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@Hope5 hi hope, i was 9 months in on sunday and it does get less raw, the tears are less, the pain gets easier, the meltdowns are less often. Counselling helps, also Karen Suttons podcasts are worth a listen. I adopted a rescue dog who has been my saviour, tho i know thats not for everyone. Keep talking on here, it really helps.
Sending love and hugs xx

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Morning to all i have only been on this bereavement forum for a few weeks i lost my darling husband of 49yrs on the 30th of may this year very suddenly i know i am just starting out on this terrible devastating journey i cry constantly and am not looking forward to a future without my darling man in it he was and still is my everything i was on the forum that got closed yesterday and i am utterly devastated that the lovely sheila has left i tried to write her a post but was too late for me to send it so i hope she will oneday know how much she helped me with everything she ever said nothing but kind caring understanding and very wise, she has been on her own for nine years and i think she was more of a Councillor on here than anyone i feel the reason i am here is for people who are going through the same feelings to grieve as many years as you need forever if need be we are all caring people on here and looking for solace otherwise why be here i admit i was a little upset by a few of the attitudes expressed yesterday especially as i am still so very raw and fragile myself i have read all your comments and i am heartened to know that you still all feel as you do because i know we have all lost our reasons to be here our soul mates no matter how many days months or years go by thankyou for letting me offload my feelings i hope we can all find peace someday take care to all xx

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Oh yeh …shame pollyanne not been on for while either … Xx

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Yeh … what i like is that we all in same boat and can relate to each other … and it does get less painful and less draining @Hope5 but i not gonna lie … its a hard road … in so many ways ! :frowning: xxx

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