I have just about had it when someone ( not from our forum ) assumes or believes that by now ( coming up to nine months ) that i need to " accept " he is gone…why,…i am missing my Richard more now knowing he is gone forever, never to be seen again…why do they think we should " accept " it and move on and stop talking about him and his loss…I am well aware he is gone but in my heart and mind, i dont have to accept it just to keep them happy…I am my own person i do things my way, not to please or satisfy others…Or some want us to hush our voice and put a smile on our face as others have their own problems to deal…who are these so called friends who think they can control our lives and our emotions…
Oh my goodness you sometimes never get over a loss and the pain and heartache that goes with it… some people just do not understand and they never will. Some people just read out of books too and do not have life experience x
Sheila…
…good to see a posting from you but sorry to read you were laid up over the Christmas period…I have to admit i just hated Christmas, my first Christmas by myself without Richard in 20 years…it was very lonely…
Yes being ill and stuck inside my home is also a worry for me as my MS body has taken a downhill turn and it has entered my head that i am really all alone if anything happens to me no one will know nor even care…
Are they x-raying you for anything specific…or just x-raying as a precautionary to rule this and that out as they usually do…
Sarrah…
…i totally agree, i have lost members of family over my 68 years but nothing has hit me as hard as the sudden loss of my partner Richard, even at age 74 his death came sudden and unexpectedly…and i will deal with his loss in my time not in outsiders and so called friends time…
Sheila…
…that sounds about right, all what you have described and wrote, nothing surprises me with our couldn’t care less attitudes in our society…a three week GP appointment wait is pretty outrageous and you have hit the nail on its head, " we could be dead before we get the help we need…" when we are all alone and trying to cope in this harsh world after we have lost our only soul mate, our loyal to us partner…I have gotten to loath the expression of " there is help out there when we need it…" well just wait until you are needing it, then see how easy or how hard it is to actually get it…We are ok when we are a couple, but left to fend for ourselves when we become as one…
Sheila…
…who can predict our three years time…
…You gave me a giggle as you are just like me, the type of thing i too would do when you wrote that note informing them when they find your " body " that you did try getting that medical appointment but told it would be three to four weeks, yes do what it takes to cover yourself…if and when they need to probe into the what happened, the when’s and the why’s…
I don’t see why you should forget or move on. I still talk about my Andy as though he is still here. I always will. I will never accept he has gone even though it is early days. I can’t accept he has gone I just think he’s gone on a long trip where he has no phone signal and can’t get in touch with me. To accept he has gone is too painful
I understand what you mean, Andrew50, I will never get used to being without my Stan, he passed away on the 15th August 2019. I have had a bad “do” today, I came across some photos which were taken just before he died, I can’t remember seeing them before. I have just come home from hospital after being it’s “guest” for 8 days, although I was kept waiting, lying on a very uncomfortable trolley, once I was admitted, the doctors and staff were wonderful, I was diagnosed with gastroenteritis and a viral chest infection. I have never felt so ill in my life, I felt sorry for all the staff, they were rushed off their feet. I was lying there for eleven hours, I have chronic back pain and I have ached so much since I was discharged. Sorry to moan, I was supposed to be offering words of wisdom and comfort. I do feel for you, I know it helps when you have a good and caring family, our two live 80 miles away from me in opposite directions. They are very caring. Please continue to post, you will receive the best understanding and compassion available.
Love,
MaryL
This is something i now fear, being hospitalised ( my MS or anything else that may occur in the future ) and no one to come to visit me as my Richard was 100% loyal and 100% reliable and basically he and i both knew that he was all i had, he was always there for me…Yes i have a daughter and grandson but they are both 140-150 miles away…to be completely alone now is so lonely and frightening when your sole-mate, your loyal and trusted soulmate has been taken away from his life and your life…
Mary…
…i cant imagine the loneliness and helpless feelings you went through during your hospital stay, glad to read you are now out of that hospital bed and back in your own bed and home, although an isolated and lonelier place to be now your dear Stan is with you no more…
Hi Mary L I’m sorry to hear you have been unwell. At least in the end you got good care from the drs and nurses. I hope you start to feel better soon. That’s one thing that scares me, being unwell on my own and I certainly wouldn’t want to go to my local hospital.
Thank you
for your kind messages, they are much appreciated. It is good to be home, lonely though as all of you will appreciate. I am still rather weak, but to be honest I do miss the company even though I was put into isolation.
Love,
MaryL
Are you coping alright with just coming out of hospital and do you have any help even if it is for the short term. Loneliness is the worst thing.
Tracy xx
Dear Sheila and Tracy, thank you for your replies, I do have a lady who comes in and cleans for me and sees to the washing, she is wonderful. We get on very well. I am lucky in so many ways, my GP came to see me, yesterday and checked my chest, he was pleased with what he could not hear what he was checking. I sound like Ernie Wise, the play wot I wrote.
Love,
MaryL
Hello again, Sheila,
I may be repeating myself but I do have a cleaner and she is wonderful, our bungalow has never been as clean. As I have mentioned earlier I have chronic back pain, Maureen (my cleaner, comes about 3 times per week and gosh, do not stand in front of her otherwise you will finish up in the washing machine, when I was first left on my own our daughter, arranged for her to come every day. I have now cut back to 3 times per week. I also have a gardener too, I am not showing off, I would love to garden, but being allergic to the sun and solar light, together with the back it is impossible
Hello again, Sheila,
I may be repeating myself but I do have a cleaner and she is wonderful, our bungalow has never been as clean. As I have mentioned earlier I have chronic back pain, Maureen (my cleaner, comes about 3 times per week and gosh, do not stand in front of her otherwise you will finish up in the washing machine when I was first left on my own our daughter arranged, for her to come every day. I have now cut back to 3 times per week. I also have a gardener too, I am not showing off, I would love to garden, but being allergic to the sun and solar light, together with the back it is impossible. I used to love gardening.
Along with getting the parkhomes exterior painted and whatever else they find needing doing, our parkhome rule of once every three years, plus the big job of machines in my garden, the grass being totally messed up plus the taking up of decking and putting in the low brick wall from one end to the other, oh and decking i have never like decking, I have also contacted two separate gardeners, one recommended by AGE UK, he and his team never got back to me even after telling me the days work would take place the following month or two, which would have been the end of last year…all these my Richard would have taken care of, no not done these himself but would have organised and paid for…and yes i too was quoted over £100 plus by one, and £150 by the other…
Oh dear, Jackie,
I do wish that people would be more reliable it is so frustrating for us. I am hoping that the gardener I rang will turn up as he promised, he did last October, so fingers X’d.
I hope that today is a better day for you. x