I wish i was there with them

My two love birds are the way, how I address both my mother in law and father in law. I lost them both recently. They loved me unconditionally. I could not be there with them during their illness. I couldn’t understand the extent of their illness over the phone. Due to international travelling restriction, I couldn’t even attend the funeral. Now I am devastated. My husband doesn’t like me in a depressive mood always. I feel like I didn’t do enough. there is entire life ahead of me and I can’t imagine my life without them. please tell me how to come in terms with the present.

Hello, I am so sorry about your losses, it can be very difficult when we’re not able to be with them at the end.

A lot of people feel that they didn’t do enough, but the reality is that we do a lot, and as you were not there in person, what you could do was restricted. Please do not feel guilty, you really loved them, and it is unfortunate that they passed away.

It can take many months for people to get back to some sort of normality, which is why people are advised to take things day by day, or even hour by hour. If you find that you’re still really struggling, you might want to consider bereavement counselling, both Sue Ryder (online) and Cruse (telephone) offer a free service. In the meantime, please continue to post here if that helps as a lot of people know what you are going through and can help you.

Hi. sweety. Welcome. As Abdullah says, you really loved them so keep that love in your heart. They still know and care. You don’t have to be there to give comfort. Love travels well, and I am sure your love reached them spiritually if not in their presence.
If you are in a depressive mood for a long time you need to see your GP. You may not want medication, but they can help in other ways. There is not a lot anyone can say about you coming to terms with the present. You will in your own way and time. Grief is a very personal thing and everyone copes in their own way. That’s not very helpful I know, but it’s true. I’m sure your husband is worried about you, and all the more reason to get help.
Take care of yourself. Try and eat properly. Our appetites can be badly affected by grief. Bless you. John.

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