Im a Newbie folks

Hi everyone,
Lost my sweetheart Anne nearly 19months ago. We were married 50yrs. Life is still a roller coaster of emotions ; varying from coping to melancholy. Am I alone with this so far along down the line?

Hi. James71
Good you decide to talk in this community.
50 years is long time actually a life time. It must have been hard deal with all the new life, the new life we live but we dont want.
Yes, it is a roller coaster and the waves of grief just come from not where. Special evening and arriving home. The silence, everybody getting on with their lifes but us that we have lost everything, the emptiness hurst but nothing we can do.
I am not that far, i am i the stafe of one hour or one day a time. But there are unfortunately many in here that have lost their partners as you have. You are not alone keep in touch and share your memories

Take care…

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THANK YOU DEVI for your kind and empathic reply. As I settle in I’ll contribute more with a hope to helping others whilst coming to a greater realisation as to what I’m experiencing my self.

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Hi James 71
I am the same
2 years since I loss my partner we were together 25 fantastic years
I do find it harder now
I think when he died suddenly I was too busy sorting out everything funeral all his affairs
Then my mum died 9 months later
So I just went into auto pilot sorting out all her affairs
I found I had to be strong for everyone else
But I think this year with COVID and lockdown
I have more time for me which has made my grief worse
Other people don’t understand how I can be sad after he has been gone for so long
Life does go on but the loss is so great it never leaves you
When I’m down I try and think of happy times we had or look at photos of him
At least we were loved
And that’s something to hold on to as some people have never experienced a true love
Hope this helps
Sending my love
Xx

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BLESS YOU my friend.
We are lucky. We’ve experienced true love. And true love for a partner transcends gender. Love is a Cosmic gift. A gift thats so often misinterpreted or misunderstood by those who seek it. Look for love and you will fail. True love comes of its own volition. But when it arrives out of the blue its unmistakable. And our love is measured in weight by the grief we suffer when they pass. So those who love the most; suffer the most.
Stay safe Scottie.

Hi James,

I can only imagine your grief. My husband died 5.5 months ago, we had 18 wonderful years together.

Occasionally we fought like a cat and a dog, but mostly it was a dream of a relationship. I was 48 when I met him, and I’d virtually given up hope of finding a partner, I’d had several fiancees but it never worked out for one reason or another.

You are absolutely and totally not alone. We all feel as you do. Thing is, I believe that life is a gift, despite all the pitfalls we encounter, so because of that, I am trying to get on with it.

I can only say that I have a friend in Scotland who lost his wife in April last year. He’d had a major stroke 5 years before, and his wife knew that she had osteoporosis and she smoked, although she made many attempts to give up. She died of lung cancer, which ran in her family. She was a nurse, so I guess she decided to die of lung cancer rather than osteoporosis, which is horrible.

Between them they had already agreed that whoever went first, they were fine with any decision the other one made, about whether to live alone or to try to find another partner. They were married 37 years, they have 2 daughters and a son. The father is now alone with the 3 children all telling him different things about what he should do next. So, he told me, his ears are ringing…

Only a very few of us are lucky enough to be in that position.

The rest of us are left struggling with grief. I only hope that for you it will not last forever, that in time you will learn to cherish your happy memories and let the grief fade away. I don’t think my grief will ever leave me, but I hope that as time goes on, the acute cycle of crying and screaming and seeing bad memories all over the place will ease, and I will be able to enjoy the simple pleasures of life again.

With my very best wishes and also great sorrow that you are here, Christie xxx

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Hi James, I sympathise with you, your emotional state seems to echo mine a little bit, I lost my Ann ‘Annabelle’ at 11-11am on the 25th Jan. 2021 her funeral took place on 22nd Feb. early days for me I am just waiting for the moment when it really hits home, I’ve written to her, talked to her all in the hope it will help me, for what it’s worth the writing in my case has helped somewhat, take care and stay in contact if you wish. ‘B’

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