He was the gardener of the house (and the cook!) A seed catalogue was delivered the other day and just the sight of it made me cry - I can’t even listen to the theme tune for Gardener’s World much less watch the programme as he was an avid fan of the programme. I literally just want to keep my curtains closed and never look at a flower or plant or beautiful scenery ever again because he’s not here to look at it too. We had only lived in this house for 8 weeks when he died we chose it for the field views at the back having lived in a city for years where the view from his office was rooftops. I find it heart breaking that he had such a short amount of time in a house that he worked his socks off to buy and now here I am and he has gone. Some days I think I will definitely move somewhere else other days I think I’ll stay because he loved it even though we weren’t here together for long. My life has very little meaning right now I’ve asked my children not to buy me flowers for Mother’s Day because all they will do is eventually die too.
Im a professional horticulturist and am so glad to have my garden ,greenhouse and plants.
I do understand how you are feeling though. I think we fixate on things that were part of our partners. Its only been six weeks since my wife died and i cant look at photos of her or deal with her clothes and shoes.
Its really hard, but in time gardening could be very good therapy for you.
Being so into his plants, he wouldnt want you to find flowers unbearably.
Do that garden up in the spring .Have it looking the way he would have wanted it.
Hi @Plantman
Sorry to hear of your recent loss.
It was nice to read your post about gardening being therapy for the sole.
My husband passed in June 23 and he was the gardener of the house. He grew vegetables and fruit together with plants and flowers. He always said it was his sanctuary an escape outdoors to get away from a stressful job. I just didnt know what to do with garden when he passed. I took out most of produce last year and gave away to neighbours and food bank.
I covered the raised beds with plastic tidied the greenhouse and just locked up and walked away. I just did not know what to do. He would be so sad as he loved outdoors so much.
I live in Scotland not far from Edinburgh
I hope this year i will be able to try to do some things in the garden and try to enjoy the peace and joy he found there.
I will never be a 9-5 gardener like him but hopefully can enjoy the garden once more
Take care
Lynne
I know just how you feel. My husband was the gardener and loved being in the garden. I am lost without him. He did the decorating and I could always depend on him to help me with things. It’s so hard being on my own.
@Plantman well a further complication is that I have MS with limited mobility he was planning to build me some raised beds so I could do some growing. I am definitely going to have to get a gardener in not just to mow the lawn but keep on top of the beautiful array of shrubs that are planted here. I guess I could eventually get some raised beds put in but not right now if ever.
I hope you can learn to love the garden like your partner did.
I too am in Scotland, (Dunoon), so if you ever need advice about suitable plants for our lovely climate dont hesitate to ask.
Hi
Thanks good to know
I know nothing about vegtables or fruit and what plants names are.
I also had enough bamboo to feed the pandas at the zoo.
Trying to thin these down 10 clumps each 18ft high taken over now 
L
I understand this situation so well my husband and I discussed moving to be near our sons for years and he viewed the house I now live in alone he only had two weeks in the new location but not in our home as he was so ill and died last Christmas two months ago. I am making changes to the house and always wonder what his thoughts would be . Especially now as we both love the garden and am now planning on what to do in the garden alone he talked constantly about not being able to get into the garden . When does the pain ever stop mornings and evenings are the worst. Sending hugs to all on the same journey.
Sorry to learn of your m.s. life is not fair. We all need to get on with life at our own pace. We are all mourning the loss of our great love.
I cared for my wife at home: we both knew the end was coming and did a lot of talking.
She made me promise to look after myself and keep up my great passion. She wanted me to be happy.
I hope that you decide to get those raised beds. It would give you something else that you can do and hopefully, discover for yourself what sparked your partners joy of growing.
Thank you - sadly my husband died very suddenly and unexpectedly so we never did have those conversations, about what do after one of us went - he was still working but the plan was that after Christmas he was going to cut his hours - he was self employed as a design engineer - so he was able to choose to do that. He passed away on Christmas Eve just gone.
That is so sad but I totally get it, we had only 8 weeks in our new house after spending years in a city with nothing to look out at except rooftops - we lived near the city centre too (one that is famous for its ring road) even at night the noise never really stopped. I have to admit though some days I miss the noise and hustle and bustle of the city we didn’t move far and I find myself driving into the city just to clear my head some days which may seem counter-intuitive but let’s face it, nothing makes sense any more does it?
Morning everyone
I had a landscape gardener here last week to make our front and back garden low maintenance. My husband died very suddenly and unexpectedly in the back garden in September last year and I’ve been unable to cope with looking at it or being in it since then… He didn’t particularly enjoy gardening but they were really lovely with beautiful shrubs and trees. They have been left but the grass is gone , which is what I really needed as he died while mowing the lawn. All the things he built remain the same and the gardens are lovely. Also I can cope better with looking at the back garden as it is just different enough without having taken away too much of his work. I’ve decided to stay here and make the house as age proof as possible, and I’m sure he would have been pleased with what I’ve done.