I'm feeling SO fed up trying to carry on

I drag myself out of bed every day but really don’t want to. My house is going to rack & ruin. So much needs doing here but I don’t do anything . Not sure how I will carry on as seems no point without Vince. I am like a zombie .

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Hugs back to you on minute, hour day etc at a time but time does seem to stand still x

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Hi Chris,
I know how torturous it is. I lost my husband of 25 years in 2019. If you want to chat please feel free to message me.
You’re not alone in your feelings,
Take care,
Heather

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Thanks very much for the message. It goes without saying that I am so sorry for your loss too and my sympathies go out to literally everyone on here. And in a sick twisted form of logic, it’s actually reassuring to read about other people’s misfortunes as everyone knows exactly the pain and suffering of each other.
I hope you’re doing ok today.

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I’m OK, coping in every way I know how.
Hope you are managing, message me anytime,
Heather

I sometimes have the feeling that I’m managing a little better, but it seems every where I turn, all I see are people in couples. Seeing all these people walking along and holding hands, it makes me feel so depressed! All my friends are in couples and posting photos of them and their families doing the usual things (going on holiday, going out for meals, etc), it’s making me feel even worse. Every one seems to be getting on with life in the usual way and I’m here - alone!
I can’t even go out for a meal or anything socially, because I don’t want to be a gooseberry and none of my friends seems willing to just pop out with me. It’s forced isolation.

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Hi
Yes I totally understand, I find myself looking at cars to see if it’s a couple,I should be going somewhere with my husband not on my own, why did my husband have to go
All I have now is isolation and loneliness no one to chat to or share thing with
It’s hard
Take care

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Hi everyone have you thought about joining a walking group like the ramblers you get to meet people, a lot of people on their own who are lonely and the fresh air and exercise do you good, I know it is hard I lost my Mom in May and I miss her terribly hard to believe she has gone

We go out as a family so my Moms partner gets out can you do that

Yes it’s painful, especially I find at bank holidays and the like but waves of sadness can strike me at any given time. I have found myself spending too much time on Twitter but it is a huge distraction and helps me. I have a daughter so I don’t live alone but every day I miss my husband, it’s like part of me is missing. I tend to try and view every day as a brand new canvas. If I feel sad, I feel sad and I just accept it. Starting to care less about what other people think I should be like.
Have a good day,
Heather

I have complete empathy with you.In same situation.Get through the day and then bedtime which I hate.No feeling of future just existing until it’s my time to go.

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Hi all the emptiness loneliness and isolation is so hard it will be 20 weeks on Tuesday since I lost my beautiful soulmate pauline I still feel so lost and empty without her every day is the same just me and our pets no contact with people apart from on here and my grief counsellor over the phone I have 2 sessions left after that I won’t even get to talk to anyone on the phone I’m tired of feeling so isolated and lonely and I’m so tired of trying to keep going but I have no choice our pets need me and she would want me to go on so I will until my time comes and I can be with her again I look forward to that day to be with my love again to feel complete again

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I have just read your message Chris and totally understand how you feel, my darling John, the love of my life and best friend of almost 46 years, passed away 6th April following a very aggressive cancer of the oesophagus which by the time he was diagnosed had spread to his lungs, liver , spleen and many other places. I know how you feel as I HATE THIS NEW LIFE without my darling and only hope that I don’t have to do this for many years x I would never do anything as I could never add trauma to my family (as they have gone through enough for now )but every day I get up and I hope that my darling is waiting on me and I don’t need to do this for the next 10 years !! To get through each day, I walk in the morning (as soon as I get up) it’s the only thing for me …to try and clear my head …I write a letter every day to John…it’s called letters to my husband in heaven! And now I am getting counselling through sue ryder (which is physically and emotionally draining but hopefully it will help.me cope a bit better) Please think about the counselling sessions . TAKE CARE

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Hi,
Sorry to hear you’re not finding things easy. Have you got any family members you can confide in? I’m fortunate in that my mum is still alive so I always have her.
I hope you have a better day.
Heather

Hi Diane

I feel exactly the same. I just wish I could disappear……
My husband,Ian, passed away 12 weeks ago and my disbelief and fear for the future are getting worse.

Julie x

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Hi Trixie

My husband also passed away 12 weeks ago and it seems like yesterday. I don’t feel as if I will ever get over it. I knew him for 59 years and married for 54 although as far as I am concerned I am still married to him and always will be. Broken is the only way I can describe myself at the moment and feel that I will never become whole again. xx

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@Heather.1964 hi Heather I do have siblings and nieces and nephews both my parents have passed but my family don’t bother with me and I feel like that they don’t want to listen when I talk about pauline or how I’m feeling they don’t get it she was my everything

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Hi I understand what we are all going through
It’s hard to find the words
Loss of my husband has lead to Loneliness isolation heartache loss of motivation I don’t know what to do I cry all the time so lost don’t know which way to turn
I wish I could be with him …… I’m so so low at the moment……. tomorrow may be different

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I feel exactly the same. It is difficult getting through each day. I try to take each day as it comes but they all end up with me sitting alone breaking my heart wishing my husband Peter was here with me. I try to be brave as he hated to see me cry but at the moment everything (it has been 12 weeks now) is still extremely raw. I can only hope that tomorrow may be a little better.

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Hello @Chris4,

I’m the Community Manager - I just wanted to reach out to you following your post last week and because you mentioned that your wedding anniversary was this week (I think it might be tomorrow). I was so sorry to read about your Wife, the shocking nature of her death and what you have been through and to hear it is becoming harder for you to keep thoughts of self harm from your mind.

Thank you for sharing so openly and honestly about how you are feeling and for reaching out for support on here. I do hope you are finding the community and the responses you have had on this thread helpful. Given what you have shared, I also wanted to provide details of other support services there for you - I’d encourage you to reach out and speak to someone about how you are feeling.

Samaritans are available 24/7 to talk about anything that you are worried about in confidence - you can call them on 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.org if you’d prefer to write things down.
● Similarly, Shout are also contactable 24/7 but this time by text - all you need to do is text SHOUT to 85258 and talk to them about anything.
● If you feel you need some further support, you can also find your local NHS urgent mental health helpline here.
● If you are at risk of harming yourself, please call 999 or contact your GP for an emergency appointment immediately.

Sue Ryder also offers a free online bereavement counselling service should you feel some one-to-one support would be helpful - if you are interested, you can find out more here: www.sueryder.org/counselling. You might also want to take a look at the At a Loss website to see what other support is available in your area.

Please know you are not alone - do keep on reaching out. You deserve care and support, @Chris4.

Take care,
Megan

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