In those early days i literally rushed into the supermarket and rushed out ! I couldn’t stand it to be around people … i just couldnt bear it xxc
I managed to get my hair done last night. It had been booked for months. I sat like a zombie. I managed to talk about him and not cry but l was simply exhausted. I’ve woken this morning with the same pain in my chest and and the same knot in my stomach. I need to get ready for Xmas but I simply don’t want to. I have his Christmas presents ready to wrap. Everywhere l drive there is a memory. I just want to sleep to block it out xx
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@Kearray im so glad you have done something for yourself and also managed to talk about him. People who have gone through loss saying talking about them helps.
You take each day and if you dont want to do xmas then that is fine just look after yourself.
Im going to the funeral directors to set up the payment plan for my partners funeral as when he passed away he had nothing in place and no money. I dread going back there where the last time i saw him was in the Chapel of rest 
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You just sleep if you need to and only do things you HAVE to do ! Grief is exhausting x
I put off going to the hairdressers for a few months after Keef died in February, but once the better weather came I decided to have a go. However, I decided that I would have a complete change and had my waist length blonde hair cut off so it’s now above my shoulders. I know that he would have liked it but feel that leaving the hairdressers for a few months was definitely the best thing to do. You can only do things when you feel the time is right, don’t feel you have to go.
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Hi everyone ive just not bothered with anything since my partner died in April it still a struggle to get out to the shops and some days just to get out of bed .Because ive not had my roots done for ages ive got such a lit of grey now that ive decided to grow it out big decision realy ive always been dark haired shoulder length ,Tommoro on his 69th birthday im having it all chopped of .Hope in time i can get motivated to do other things he was my everything you know and i just feel lost and broken like all of us especially this time of year .Im lighting a candle on sunday at 7 and you will all be in my thoughts love hope 5 xxx
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I want to see him in the chapel of rest but they haven’t released his body yet as they have to do a post mortem. I have no closure until l know how he died. I’ve made some lists of things l need to do to try and help me. I’m just sat here with his cat listening to the rain hit the window. I could sit here all day and not move. People are inviting places and l know they mean well but I dint have the energy x
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@Kearray i found going the Chapel of rest a comfort i know that is not the case for everyone. I went every week up until the funeral.
I completely understand about not having closure until you know how he died.
A list is a good idea of things to try and help you.
Sitting at home is fine and when you are ready you can accept those invites.
Take care 
@Kearray
It’s such a harrowing time waiting for the formalities, it’s like being in limbo. Give yourself permission to do what you want when you want. We spend a lifetime feeling obligations towards people but this is your grief and your feelings are the priority. I agree that a list is a good idea, it has helped me to focus on what I’m doing and gives a bit of structure. X
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It has been 2 months since I lost my husband and I am still struggling with getting things done. We were also in the process of getting a will but hadn’t yet so that complicated things as well. My husband took care of most of the finances so I have had to quickly learn how to take care of the household. I have found I have to break it down and do a couple things at a time otherwise I just get overwhelmed and shut down. It was hard getting back out into society and some of those normal functions. It is all these new “firsts” without them. The holidays were rough but I expect next year will be a little better. I felt like I couldn’t be happy as people would judge me. My friends haven’t lost a spouse yet so they are uncomfortable talking about it. While I did some professional counseling I also felt like it would help to join a group that had similar experiences so hopefully you will find some comfort in this group and take things at your own pace as everyone heals differently.
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Yes you have come to a good place here. It is lovely and supportive and you are doing so well dealing with finance’s etc that you haven’t done before !! Well done ! Its hard when people dont understand isnt it ? But dont feel guilty for laughing. They would want us to laugh our darling husbands. Its a slow road to healing. You are doing so well after only 2 months. Keep talking on here xxx
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