I'm moved

Today was moving day very emotional leaving what was our home for 20years and locking door behind me . But now it’s done I feel relaxed just have to get used to being in a different place. Been to talk to jim up cemetery and hope he understands why I had to do it . This is not the life I wanted but it’s all I’m got so have no choice. I know no matter where I am he is with me .

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It must have been a very difficult day for you, I sure Jim understands and is with you. As you said in one of your other posts you are going to be closer to him.
I bet he is saying well done you’ve done it, and is very proud how you have coped with all that has been thrown at you over the last year, and you have your lovely dogs with you.
Debbie X

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Hi misprint , hope you find peace in your new home . Jim will be with you wherever you are . Hope your beautiful dogs settle in and enjoy there new walks . Thinking of you xtake carex

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@Misprint I so feel for you as that could not have been easy for you. I am sure Jim is watching over you and would have been very proud. They say a house is only a home when you share it with someone you love but you will keep your wonderful memories of Jim where ever you are. Sending you a big hug. xx

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Hi @Misprint I am so sorry you have all the upheaval of moving I am wondering and hope I am not upsetting you in anyway was the move because you felt you could not live with all the memories. I am in the position now when probate comes through I am wondering if to move as it is killing me not seeing his vehicle pulling up and not be able to talk to him ever again. I do not want to wake up and face another day and wondering if moving would be the answer
Jessica

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Hi Jessica yes that was part of it we had been there for 20years and to be honest the heart went out of home the day jim died it just didn’t feel the same I would see him everywhere everything he had touched became a big thing didn’t want to clean it because I felt it was rubber it out. I would go into his shed and break down . And if I went out I didn’t want to go back to a empty house. So yes I decided to move also the cost of everything played a part in my decision.
But you must do wants right for you . Take care x

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Thank you @Misprint I think it will be another year before probate so I have plenty of time to think. It just worries me my mental health sees me through as I hate every minute the day without him. I so wish we had a child together but that is down with all the what if’s. Good luck in your new home and I hope your future improves
Jessica

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Must have been a very difficult day for you leaving your home. Our loved ones are with us wherever we are and I’m sure Jim would be very proud of you.
Hope you get settled in your new home ok xx

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Thank you yes it was one of the hardest decisions I’m had to make and one I thought about for a long time I felt I had let jim down . I’m getting sorted in new home it will never be the same without jim I have to just try and make the best of an awful situation if I could change.it I would.

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That must have been a very emotional day @Misprint. I understand that it must have been such a hard decision. From what you’ve told us about Jim, I think he’d understand and just want whatever is best for you.

I moved 11 months (and 3 days) after John died. Such a mixture of emotions! It was John himself that made it possible for me to buy the very small but perfectly formed flat I now live in (we’d been renting a different place) through money he had no idea I’d be entitled to after he died. So that was a huge positive and something he’d have been ecstatic about if he knew. Also very bittersweet because the reason I have it is because he isn’t here anymore. Memories in the old place - especially the garden which was John’s unfinished project-were also quite overwhelming. So I really do understand about making the best of an awful situation. I’m lucky that I only moved 4 streets away from our last place so I can still go to many of the places we made memories together.

Sending good wishes to you in your new home. x

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I’m glad you were able to move . I also moved six weeks ago 80 odd miles away from where we’d lived. I just couldn’t stay in the house where there had been wonderful times with both my husband and then my partner but my husband died 29years ago there and then my partner last October. The sadness and the images that continually came to mind of them both dying in the house ,my husband very suddenly and then my partner six months after being diagnosed with cancer , were just too much for me. Since moving I feel I’ve got time to really feel both my husband and my partners deaths and the dreadfulness that those two good men lost their lives far too early. My husband was 44 and my partner 59 . Just not fair that they won’t live to enjoy more years and the plans we had.
I had remarks from some people about ‘moving too soon’ and leaving the support of some wonderful friends but I was beginning to find it really hard to always respond to the very well-intentioned and kind jollying along ! sometimes I don’t want to be jolly I just want peace snd quiet and time to feel sad and cry if that’s what’s needed . I’ll make an independent life for myself here and I’ll still keep in touch with those lovely friends. My family especially my children have been incredible and fortunately we’re close so can support each other through this horrible grief. They are an inspiration and despite some very dark times since their Dad’s and then their Richard’s death they are lovely kind funny sensitive adults and I feel so lucky to have them in my life.
This weekend for the first time I’m going back to our old village to attend someone’s 60th birthday party. It’s going to be tough because my dear partner so wanted to survive and see his 60th but sadly he didn’t , but I’ll go and I’ll be glad that I’ve managed to do it . I wish you as much contentment as you can eventually find where are you’re living now, and yes, Jim will always be with you , but that doesn’t make it easy does it? Sorry this is such a long post… it’s the first time I’ve written anything and didn’t realise I’d have so much I needed to say !!
Thinking of you in your new place x

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Hi
I did the same thing I moved 10 months after loosing my hubby. It was the best move I could have made the area we lived in together was going to pot. I live where I am now & like you said no matter where you are he will always be in your heart. I hope your move makes you happy xx

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Hi Misprint,
I’m so fwel that you feel relaxed after your move, on many levels. Moving home itself is very stressful, but moving after a bereavement can be especially difficult, a lot of emotions and many many memories.

Our house was up for sale for over a year before Joyce died. I was desperate to sell it so we could move into a new home together, I suppose that was for me really as I knew Joyce’s time was limited.

Joyce died without selling the house, the day after her death I received an offer and moved house 4 months later. I don’t regret it, I still have memories and the cemetery is much closer to me.

Wishing you all the best in your new home.
John

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I hope you are settling into your new home. I know your feeling sad about leaving your home I would too. I don’t know how long I can stay here - but I’m in housing association so who knows! But I know as much as it’s only bricks and mortar I would be upset to go too. I’m sure your husband is with you every step of the way and would be proud of you. Sending much love and hugs :hugs: xxx

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I also moved house as I couldn’t settle after I lost my lovely hubby. I carry all the nice memories in my heart. John used to say a house is only bricks and mortar so I thought of that and it gave me comfort. It was the best thing for me and gave my brain something else to think about. Still miss him like crazy but need to get on with it I suppose.

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Hi Looby19

Selling my house was also a distraction for a good 4 months after Joyce died. Kept me sane until I was in my new house with time on my hands that the loss hit me. That will be 9 years ago in a couple of weeks time.

I have built a new life, a completely different one to the one I had, I’ve taken early retirement for one thing, but that doesn’t stop me from reliving my memories.

I used to hold those memories very close to me, I was so worried that I would forget. Now I know hat I won’t , I no longer feel guilty if a day passes when I have been too busy to think about Joyce.

Hope you have a great weekend, if a little wet and thundery!!

John.

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Hi John
I am nearly 7 years down the line and have made my life all about my family. I miss the company of my lovely man especially at family events. A lot of people don’t understand until it happens to them😢 Which is a shame but I know that other couples dont mean it when they disappear gradually once you become widowed. Have a nice weekend.

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Hi Misprint. Well done for making the move and as you say your Jim will be with you wherever you are. I moved six weeks ago from the home we had shared and had a lifetime of love and laughter in for 36 years. It was very hard, very hard indeed but I am now in a retirement village perhaps a few years before I would otherwise have been (I’m 68). I am so much happier having people around me on a daily basis, it helps with the loneliness. I never thought I could do it and it will never stop my heart aching for my dear Bob but I know he is here with me and I have no regrets about moving. I think it’s going to help a lot. I don’t have children or grandchildren so making new friends is important and there are some people here who have lost their partners and its reassuring to see how they have built a new life. It does take courage and the support of good friends to make the move but if you can I would say give it a go. Love and hugs to all xx

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My mum’s in this position at the moment she lived with my dad 38 years in there home and dad passed in May. She’s been offered a bungalow in the same area where she lives so she will know everyone .And also she needs to move as she struggles with her legs and walking but I think she’s torn between all the memories if to go or stay .I hope you enjoy your new home by the way and like u say your memories go everywhere with u I just hope mum see that too xx

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