I'm so lost

My husband passed in August suddenly aged 55, and i haven’t got a clue on how to live without him. Christmas is something we both loved, loads of outside lights, big tree, homemade wreaths the whole lot. I sat with my christmas tree undecorated for 12 days until my daughter did it for me today. I thought i was getting better, ive gone back to work and days were not as painful but over the past week staring at the empty tree with not an ounce of motivation to decorate it has brought every bit of pain and hurt back. Im back to not sleeping, i cry, i shout at him for leaving me. Its 3 am and ive just rewatched his funeral. I am so lost in a world i took for granted, i have no idea how i get through this Christmas.

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so sorry for your loss. we all have triggers and sometimes we look for triggers to allow the pent up emotion that’s inside us get out. my mum passed 8 weeks ago and i’m still not sleeping well. grief can be paralyzing. i’m directionless and unmotivated to pursue any goals… my heart goes out to you.

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@Reluctantred I can so relate to what you’re saying though I did decorate my tree. Chris was an Everton supporter and his funeral was blue and white themed and I found a beautiful blue and white Christmas wreath that I have hung on my wall for him this Christmas

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