I'm struggling withoutyou

Pauline my beautiful darling I’m struggling withoutyou I really don’t want to carry on I know I have to for our pets but I can’t shake this feeling of just wanting to give up I’m so lost withoutyou I’m so lonely I miss you so much my heart aches for you so badly I’m so empty withoutyou you were and are my whole world I love our pets so much but I’m barely functioning I’m lucky if I talk to someone once a week I’m trying to get help but not getting anywhere I reached out to a friend last week and I wish I hadn’t they barely spoke to me I was making all the effort and of course I wanted to talk about you all they kept saying was I Don’t know what to say the thing is I just wanted to talk to someone and hear another voice as I cried for you so just for a little while I wouldn’t feel so alone I felt so uncomfortable I couldn’t even do that I hate every day and I hate myself and I hate life withoutyou I keep asking you to give me signs that you are ok but I’m not getting any I want to be with you so badly I know you would want me to go on and I am trying my best but I’m falling apart darling my life is unbearable without you I love you baby

These are feelings we can all relate to Casey. It’s hard when you’ve tried talking to someone and it hasn’t helped. Keep trying to reach out - someone will listen. Every day is so hard without your special person. All we can do is breathe and put one foot in front of the other. Sending hugs

@Jules4 thanks jules that’s what I’m trying to do every day but it’s getting harder if I didn’t have our pets I wouldn’t hesitate to end it but then I would be letting pauline down I can’t do that though I did tell her once that if I ever lost her first I wouldn’t be far behind her my life is so meaningless without her I know what I’m feeling is normal because we are all feeling it I used to self harm and I so want to do that again but I’m trying not to for her I’m so sorry I’m just so tired and lost all the time I look at our pets and think I can’t and I can’t let pauline down I had bad chest pain the other week it lasted for over an hour it went to my throat and neck down my shoulders and arms in my back and I had a cold sweat my doctors told me to go to urgent care as I might have had a heart attack I told them I couldn’t I have 3 pets and no one to take care of them I have asked my niece to text me every day and if she doesn’t hear back from me within 24hours then something is wrong I only did this so if I die at home the pets would get help

You need to take care of yourself to be able to take care of your pets Casey. I know how hard it is and I certainly feel that each day gets harder. They say that people on a couple live longer, healthier lives generally and I can see why people by themselves deteriorate because we don’t have our loved ones to look after us or the motivation to do it ourself. Remember there is an urgent help banner at the top of all of these pages. Don’t hesitate to get help if you need it. Take care

Casey, you are not alone with your feelings, this is very difficult I know, but you are not alone with your thoughts, it is early days for you, just keep going for now for your babies, as Jules mentioned all we can do is breathe. Just take one minute, one hour.
Thinking of you!

@Jules4 @jack10 I am taking care of myself enough to care for our pets I’m just struggling with losing her I can’t get my head around it but I know I have to I will keep trying for our babies and for pauline thankyou both for replying to me it makes me feel a little less alone when I talk on here I will try to get an appointment to see my doctor

Yes - try to get an appointment - tell them it’s urgent. Take care

Casey, ring the medical centre and make an appointment with the receptionist, the doctor will ring you in short period of time back, they will also do follow ups with you. My GP works until 6.30pm.
Thinking of you.

Widow and widowers do have higher chance of heart attack in the first year after bereavement. Please take care while grieving everyone

1 Like

Awww Casey
I’m so sorry you are struggling at the moment
I really understand how you feel
I’m lucky I do have family
But I really feel like there’s no future without my husband
The past couple of days have been really bad
I have only got out of bed to sort my pets out
I’m having extreme flash backs I can’t stop thinking about the moment he passed and the pain he went through for 6 months
I am having really really bad panic attacks it feels like some one is sitting on my chest
When I do eventually go to sleep in having nightmares
To top it all off my hair is falling out in clumps
I just can’t cope the funeral is Thursday I am physical sick thinking about it
I really do understand what you going through

Try your past to stay strong I know it’s hard
Take care
Marie x

@luckystarhongkong @Dotty666 thankyou both for replying to me I will take care of myself I have to for our pets dotty I’m sorry you are struggling its so hard without our soulmates but we have to keep going for them I will be thinking of you on Thursday I’m sure you will do your husband proud sending you both hugs

oh how I feel for you , you described exactly how I feel , so so lonely with my darling David , the days are long and lonely , I just want my life as it was ,we were so happy together we had 47 years of love , our children try to support me but they don’t understand the overwhelming grief I feel. The physical pain is to hard to bear. Why oh why did he have to leave me ?

Thank you Casey

Don’t forget I’m here aswell as alot of people who know how you are feeling
Take care sending you hugs

Marie x

Its so so cruel isn’t it
I just want my Ian back
Back how is was before that evil disease got a hold of him
He was my only true love

Take care
Marie x

@Nims123 hi I am so very sorry for your loss and that you are going through this heartache it’s so hard and lonely without our soulmates we do carry them with us always in our hearts and keep them alive there and the love we shared with them was so special it completed us as did they sending you hugs