In memory of Kathryn...

I came to this site following the death of my soulmate in 2016 but today I am remembering another loss that happened before some of you were born. On this day in 1982, I lost a little daughter…she had lived for only 21 days but she has always been in my heart and my love for her has never died. I want to tell all of you who are grieving the death of a son or daughter that you will somehow survive and that your loss will slowly grow into part of who you now are… your child will never change but will walk beside you through time and will always be with you as you go on to laugh and to cry throughout your life.
I sometimes read posts from people who feel that their children (or other family members) are not giving love and support when they need it the most…believe you me, I understand so well ( I am blessed to have other children now grown up and living busy lives far away) but such negative feelings make me sad because they remind me that many parents will never experience their child even being able to “be there for them”.
Anyway, as my memories and emotions have swirled around today I remembered a poem by Khalil Gibran that gave me much comfort all those years ago and which, on reflection, might help all of us view our children’s lives differently.
Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life’s longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you, yet they do not belong to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls, for their souls live in the house of tomorrow which you can not visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward, nor tarries with yesterday.

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Hi. AG. I have his book, ‘The Prophet’ from which your excerpt was taken. It’s a lovely book and I would recommend it. He talks about life and death and marriage and so many other things and the prose is beautiful.
He wrote many books and was regarded as a Prophet in his own right. He was Lebanese and wrote way back in the 19th century and into the 20th.
It’s unusual to find anyone with a knowledge of him. Did you find him by chance, if there is such a thing? Blessings.

‘And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation’
Such beautiful words from this man and such wisdom.


Hi. agmo. In that one sentence he sums it all up. It’s not until we lose something we appreciate it more. Looking back, (which is not always wise!), I can see many occasions where there was a lack of appreciation on my part. But it’s gone and I have learned a lot about myself this last year.
Thanks for that.

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Jonathan, I doubt there is a single person on here who hasn’t looked back with sorrow or regret at something they said or did (or didn’t say or do) when their loved one was still with them. I Will be eternally thankful for the time I had to say all the things I needed to say to my beloved sister and to hear the words she needed to say to me and, like you, I have learnt a little from my grief. We have loved and been loved and nothing, not even death, can in any way alter that. Thank you for your thoughtful posts on this forum, you and a few others on here have helped me so much. XX

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