My dear Betty died in July, unexpectedly. I don’t fear death either, but I don’t think about what death may be like for me. I will accept whatever comes my way and just hope that it will be quick and peaceful. after all there is nothing I can do about it, so why should I spend the time worrying? Maybe not a lot of help to you, but I’m sure your lovely wife would hate for you to be worrying at this time. So try and be positive and be happy in the memories of the times you had together. Look after yourself - Neil (73)
My own death is the only hope of release from my grief. However, I do not yet wish to add to the sorrows of my family who mourn their Mum/Nanny.
I also have unfinished business in this world which I must finalize.
And then I have my dogs - our dogs. Nobody else would ever care for them as we have done. Perhaps we went too far, but we both knew that they would be the last dogs that we would ever have, and I suppose, in an unspoken way, we have been doing thank you through them for the many dogs which have brought us so much pleasure throughout our lives. I want to see these two through to the end of their natural lives, though I dread having to make that final decision when nature and the vet tell me that it is time to ease their passing.
So I suppose that I fear death’s timetable rather than death itself.
I often used to display bravado by quoting a minor Shakesperean character, “By my troth I care not: a man can die but once. We owe God a death . . . . and let it go which way it will, he that dies this day is quit for the next.” Maybe I no longer feel quite like that just yet.
We always used to give the old Scottish toast at family meals, each saying a line,
“Here’s to us,
Who’s like us ?
Damn few -
and they’re all dead”
but we haven’t felt much like saying that since Eileen died. Our other favourite toast is to quote the final words of Seder, “Next year in Jerusalem !”
This post is a perfect illustration of why I often delete before sending - irrelevant, rambling waffle.
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But writing on here, eases the pain, just a little, maybe?
Neil.
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Reckon so
I like reading your ‘rambling waffle’ Edwin…
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Hi yorkshire lad, im sorry you have had so many losses but i can relate to some of this, i live alone now too, but i had a stroke in 2011,and i keep thinking to myself what if i have another now, especially as im crying a lot at the moment, and a lot of things are banging on in my head,but i went to see dr today and told him how i was feeling ,so now im waiting to see a grief councelor,and i hope by getting my feelings out there its going to help put my mind at rest, take care x
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I don’t think I’m afraid of dying but the way in which I might die is concerning.
After seeing my partner die perhaps it’s natural that initially I became a little focused on my own death. Before then I never gave much thought to it.
I had to watch as my partner, in moments of realisation, was in despair at his mind being in the grip of dementia.
That is my biggest fear, losing the power of my mind and becomng totally dependent on others.
Doesn’t bear thinking about so don’t think I will!
Why worry when I am unable to look into the future and see what lies ahead.
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Hi everyone, I just wanted to share my feelings. Although 21 now, losing my mum at the age of 19 has made me question so many things. Passing away from incurable cancer at age 54, I am terrified of also being taken that young. She had so many plans and aspirations. I don’t want that to be me, I want to live.