Is anyone else really tired all the time?

I know lack of energy is symptomatic of grief but I really feel exhausted - although I admit I am sleeping pretty badly a lot of the time. And it seems to be getting worse. I really have to drag myself around most of the time. Is anyone else like this? Has anyone experience of this getting better? Is there anything I can do to make it any better? I just want to lie down a lot of the time.

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Try getting sleep medication from your doctor. You should also force yourself outdoors for a 30 minute walk at least 3 times a week. I personally hate excercise but I do sleep better when I’ve been physically active during the day.

Yes I have it as well .I use the calm app which helps to a certain extent but find it hard to switch off at night
seems that is when I recall everything good and bad of our lives together .Grief is mentally and physically exhausting and I think you just have to let it wash over you .I hope sometime I will feel less tired but at the moment Im just accepting that is how it is .Look after yourself and you are not alone x

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Absolutely. I’m relatively fit and have started forcing myself out on my bike again. But I feel completely wiped out. It’s a strange tiredness - like I’m perpetually coming down with something - like a cold that never comes.

Grief, worry, sadness all burn up energy in the background and can leave you worn out - they sometimes call it nervous exhaustion.

I found that lunchtime naps help me. Either in the car or if I’m working from home, I snooze on my bed for 30mins.

There’s a useful yoga technique called Nadi Shodhana - alternate nostril breathing. It only takes 5-10 minutes. It seems to relax the mind. Google it and try it - it calms the chattering monkey in my head!

All the best,

Mog

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Yes all the time, I don’t sleep well & wake up often. I’m 19 months on & I’m finding life exhausting because I think I’m trying too hard. I think that I should be getting back to some kind of normal life or that’s what I’m expected to do, but it’s not what I want. Today has been a really tough day & I’m really tired so I’ve not done anything, I’ve had a pj & tv day & also a crying day. I need those days & I’ve stopped feeling bad about them, I’ll never get me back, my husband made me & I made him. I’ve got to just make the best of things & sometimes that’s too much. But I’ll get through because that’s what you do & that’s why it’s exhausting.
Take care x

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Yes I think I might be trying too hard to get back to some sort of normal and I think that might be wiping me out. Glad to know I’m not alone.

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Thanks for the responses - I’ll try some of the tips.

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I probably sleep far too much but it’s not quality sleep, I wake up every few hours, drink, loo & then try& sleep again.
I’m mentally and physically utterly exhausted by my grief & told the counsellor I crave a new normal but have no idea what that looks like or how to find it.
I am aware of the tools needed to reach a new normal, routine etc, maybe returning to work but that doesn’t help if you think your existence is pointless & there’s no joy in anything any more since the day my love died. Missing him so much, 7 months still counting.

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I can relate to your experience Maigret I feel I sleep too much, like you waking up often, loo visits trying to get back to sleep without the thought of what has happened going round my head, I lost my mum in July this year and feel lost, sad & overwhelmed by everything, I can only take a day at a time, feel I’m definitely not going to be the person I was again so for me at the moment I feel this is now my life, take care all on this long emotional journey we are all on.
Lynn x

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I think we sleep through exhaustion but also because then time passes more quickly without the pain.

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Strangely, that is how I stumbled upon this online group support in the first place! I had been feeling completely drained, both mentally and physically, although I was not really doing anything out of the ordinary. I just felt like a little rag doll whose stuffing had been knocked out of her. No energy at all. I googled this to see if tiredness is a symptom of grief and sure enough there was loads of info confirming this. I also saw a link for this Sue Ryder online group support and registered right away. 7+ months now and I still feel I’ve had the stuffing knocked out of me. I guess that’s how it’s going to be from now on. The grief is so powerful it takes you for all you’ve got. I also find I’m suffering from brain fog.

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Oh, I know exactly how you feel! I have gone from a happy, active, optimistic person to a rag doll since the death of my beloved husband.
I don’t know nowhere to go from here, and it hurts so much!
I hope you find peace. X

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Saki ah,

Little rag doll with her stuffing knocked out of her is a very good description, along with brain fog, I’m a lists person at the best of times, but now, I wouldn’t function without one, The first weeks were the worst, going to bed one night leaving the back door wide open and my poor dog outside, well at least he could get back in! I’ve left lights on in rooms, all night, put things away in the strangest of places, I now have a before bed check list, it does take every ounce of energy you can muster to just get through the day, it has got a bit easier over the weeks, keeping busy helps, but also takes energy, keep telling myself I have to go through this to get through, think I will be forevermore telling myself that, miss him so much.
Hugs Chrissy3

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It’s not surprising we are all so tired, we are not only dealing with grief but having to do twice as many chores,. Everything before was shared. I am finding I am almost getting OCD. When going to bed or going out I check the doors that they are locked only to go back and check them all again. I wasn’t like this before, it’s exhausting.

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Oh my goodness Viv3! That’s me too! Whenever I go out and lock the door I’m compelled to go back and check it again, even though I know in my mind I did lock it! I just have this anxiety!. Like you say, I’ve also developed this kind of OCD. I walk around in the early hours checking the doors and patio doors. I think it’s because I know I’m alone now and I don’t have that security blanket of having him here with me at nights. It just makes you feel so vulnerable.

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It’s a relief that I am not the only one doing this, I thought I was going mad. It is because we feel vulnerable. I just hope it gets better soon

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The tiredness is incredibly hard to cope with, even though I think I’ve slept ok I still wake up feeling so exhausted, first thing I have no motivation even after nearly 7 weeks of losing my mum it doesn’t seem to be getting any better

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I’ve done a full day back at work and am exhausted. I think you are right about lack of motivation as well though!

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