Four weeks ago today I lost my dear hubby and best friend, it feels strange writing that because I honestly don’t know where those days and weeks have gone! It is also the longest time that we have ever been apart, as even when he was in the hospital or hospice we spent all our days and evenings together. As I’m sure most of you will know the pain is incredible and though people may message or call, the inner lonliness is both acute and scary. I’ve spent almost every evening and night alone, which has been overwhelming at times. I found out today that theres a local befriending group which has a meet up twice a month and I’m wondering if it’s too early to consider something this, and if it will even help. Has anyone tried this type of thing?
Anything is worth trying…give it a go and see. Time is irrelevant…do what feels right for you x
I agree. Give it a go. After all, you have nothing to lose and if it’s not for you you don’t have to go again. But being with folk who are in the same boat can be so helpful, as on this site. You may well find friends there, fellow sufferers, because only they can know what you are going through.
I have been to groups as a visitor, but never really got along with it. But I am not a ‘group’ person.
It’s all back to how you feel. Anything that helps relieve this awful pain must be helpful. Best wishes.
I agree give it a go, it does depend on the individual though. I’m like Jonathan, not a group person. I am a member of the Ramblers and have been for years always enjoyed their walks with like minded people. Brian was a walks leader for a while. Now I find it difficult to be with groups of people and just want to get away and be on my own. I also have allotments and the other members have been very kind but I shy away from group gatherings on show/open days etc. I’m polite and chatty with everyone short term but that seems to be all I can cope with at the moment. I hope I don’t become a recluse and one day will feel comfortable again but for now I enjoy growing my fruit and veg and the long walks in the company of my dogs who give me so much love.
It all depends what sort of person you are. I have noticed that some forum members want people with or around them all the time and others are like me. Take your time and you will find your way and what brings you comfort.
I agree with you wholeheartedly it’s the inner loneliness that is the hardest to cope with and will not go away no matter how many people is with or around you.
Personally I feel that until I can come to terms and find inner peace I am not the best of company and don’t feel at ease. Time will tell.
I go to a bereavement group and it has helped me to meet other people who just get how you feel and you are going through the same thoughts and feelings. I lost my husband in April and I am so lonely and lost without him. I try and get as much help as I can. You could give it a try to see if you like it. They are not for everyone. It is early days for you.
I do suggest you give the Bereavement meeting a try. At the time my husband died, 19 months ago, I felt that I would have appreciated such a group meeting, but living in a rural area, there were none available locally. I rang Cruse as a few friends of mine who live in different areas have joined such groups and found them helpful. I was only offered telephone counselling, so left it. Eventually. I did have one telephone consultation with a local Counsellor which was helpful. I was offered further face to face private counselling if needed. So, up to now I’ve continued with the support from time to time with close family, friends, other groups than ‘bereavement’, plus this forum. Take one day at a time. Coming to terms with our new life does take time. Deidre. X