Is the end near?

My mum is in hospital, with an infection. Cancer is everywhere, doctors have said it’s in its end stages.

She had a high temp on Sunday morning, then went really low. I’ve heard this is a sign of the body shutting down, bleeding when she goes for a wee. Tiny tiny bits of urine being produced, as diseased kidney completely caput. Diarrhoea, not eating hardly anything, few spoons of soup. Pain ramping up. She told me that yesterday she had woken screaming and crying in pain in the middle of the night. They are giving morphine orally, but not keeping it at bay, I think she needs a driver??? Help please advise. I’ve rang their local hospice nurses, waiting for them to call me back.
Frantic with worry, can’t bear it, can’t bear thinking of her suffering and can’t be with her. Bastard covid. Sorry for the language.

She’s deteriorating rapidly. She has been talking of her funeral the day before she went into hospital. Over the past 2 days she has been saying her goodbyes to me and my sister. At first I was crying and saying please don’t go, but then I read somewhere that the kindest thing you can do is to tell them it’s ok to go. :broken_heart::broken_heart: so last night on the phone about 7.30pm I said to her if god is calling you, it’s ok, you must go, you’ve been so brave and have been an inspiration. Told her over and over and over again that I loved her :pensive:

My dad been ringing her mobile from first thing this morning, he then rang the nurse desk on the ward and they went to look at her. Her phone was there on her tray table, but she said she doesn’t feel like talking.

Feel I’m going out of my mind. Wish she’d slip
Into a deep sleep. Can’t they do something.

:weary::weary::weary::weary::sob::sob::sob::sob::sob::sob:

Hi Prettygreeneyes
So sorry to hear about your mum.
My mum’s in hospital too with cancer, she was rushed into hospital about 2 months ago with urinary problems, found out friday she has stage 4 cancer.
Like you i cant visit her or even speak to her on the phone she’s too far gone, it’s her birthday tomorrow and i won’t be able to see her because of covid.
I wish i could offer some words of comfort, but know my heart goes out to you at this difficult time.

First of all you are NOT going crazy. You are suffering about the worse experience any human can suffer, seeing a loved one gradually deteriorating. I do know, been there.
If you can get access to your mum all well and good. As I understand it they do allow visiting if it’s a near death situation.
I think doctors do they do all they can, but their oath says they should try and preserve life. In my opinion we should let some who are beyond help just slip away. Our thoughts a and prayers are with you at this awful time. Tell her again you love her. it’s never too much. All you can do is take it day by day, Best not to anticipate what might happen. Please come back and tell us how its going. Bless you and your family. You also need comfort.

Traumatised. My dad rang saying she’d just called him screaming and crying in agony and had pressed the buzzer but no-one was coming.

I rang the ward telling them to go into her ASAP, I was sobbing pleading for them to do something and give her something stronger. Also rang the hospice nurse back telling her they can’t seem to get it under control. Palliative care consultant been to see her. They have upped the dosage, and are going to go back and see her tomorrow.

It’s in humane, why do humans have to suffer, when they put animals out of their misery. Life is so cruel and unfair. She doesn’t deserve this suffering.
She’s a kind compassionate dignified lady, and this is pure hell. Praying hard she goes soon :sob::sob::broken_heart::broken_heart:

I thought hospitals were now allowing compassionate visiting when it comes to end of life care. It may be the case of just one visitor. I would question whether someone could visit.
I’m am so sorry you are having to go through such an upsetting and difficult situation. x

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I’m so sorry that your mum is in pain and it isn’t under control, that sounds awful. It sounds as though speaking to the hospice nurse was a good idea.

As other users have said, government guidance says that people should be allowed to visit at the end of life where possible, although different hospitals may have different policies. Marie Curie have some more information on this: https://www.mariecurie.org.uk/help/support/coronavirus/visiting-dying#care-home. You can also call their helpline for information and support on anything to do with end of life care: 0800 090 2309

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Please, if you don’t have symptoms of Covid, then put on a mask, go to the hospital, and insist on seeing your mum. Hospitals now have enough PPE to allow visitors to see the patient. I wish I had done this.

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