Is this normal

Hi my name is Mark i am 54 i lost my partner 23rd May next week it will be 3 months since she passed away and i am dreading it, i feel like i am falling apart, i am anxious and cry very easily. I am not sleeping well and feel overwhelmed i cry myself to sleep most nights and force myself to get up each morning to go to work when all i want to do is pull yhe duvet up over my head and hide.

Eveyone sems to be moving on if they ask how i am and i say i am struggling they dont know what to say or change the subject so if anyone asks i tell them i am doing ok when i am really tearing myself apart inside.

I am getting used to putting on the mask when ieave the house and fall apart when i get home.



Hello Mark. My name is Sandra. My husband died 6th June. I know exactly how you feel. We were coming up to 50 years married. I don’t have work to get up for but wish I did to have some sort of focus. I have to get up as my carers come in at 07:30. It was the only slot I could get as I had to arrange care swiftly when my husband suddenly went into hospital. I know all those feelings you describe. I survive 1 hour, 1 day at a time. I just feel some hope reading the journeys of others on this site. Just stay with us and you will get support from people who know precisely what you are going through. Vent as you need. No one will judge. Only support is given. Xx. Sandra


Hi Mark.
This is exactly how i feel . Dread waking up each morning and getting through another day , then the dreaded weekend which makes it worse . People do struggle and dont know what to say , on here we understand . Take care of yourself.
Love Angie x


@GRIFFLAR Hi Mark, what you describe I definitely went through, exhaustion, despair, anxiety, anticipation the list goes on. It’s shit but it’s normal. I’m 9 months along now, at 3 months I found it incredibly hard to find the energy to do anything, I had been reading a lot on here and it helped. I could see other people were experiencing a lot of what I was. At around 8 months or so I started posting and chatting, getting things out. Interacting has been an eye opener for me, sitting and putting down what I feel, getting support and encouragement from others who understood. It’s helped me to make sense of what I’m going through.


Everything your describing we have been through. It’s hard! You will have ok days and crap days. I’m nearly 7 months in. I’m away at the moment and it feels ok. The crap comes with you though but there are good days in between now. Life goes on but yes, it’s a tough one.


Pudding Exactly how i feel most days .like i,m Pudding a mask on but i am trying to stop myself doing it as i know sue wouldn’t want me to hide myself away from everything

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@Martyn2. Very clever.

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Theres such a taboo in our culture over death … its really quite ridiculous and i think we have got worse not better !!! People need to try understand ! Theres just no empathy at all ! Its flipping stupid …i remember my nana talking about my grandad who passed away before i was born due to ill health and it wasnt as stupid as it is now ! Whats wrong with people !!! They all want to live in their “safe” little worlds ! Well one day it won’t be “safe” for them will it and they will have to face losing a loved one !!! And they will feel like we do … makes me so cross peoples attitude X


Very true and and also i agree with @Ali29 you do get stronger you know … very slowly … and you are in very early days @GRIFFLAR so don’t be too hard on yourself … xx