Hi having a bad day today just longing for my partner I know he’s never gony as he died on 12off may sudden the longing for him is only getting worse how do I get over this my anxiety is just not getting better I miss him so much xxstrong text
Isable, sorry about your loss and knowing how you feel and how it hurts. Everyone on here knows this feeling. May is not long ago and it is ok to say you miss him which triggers your anxiety. Grief knows-no bonds and it is still so early, give yourself time and try just to take smile steps and in time you will feel more normal. He will alway there, always a part of you. Take each day, one at a time. S xx
Good advice above, we’re all grieving so please know that you are not alone.
My only suggestion would be to prioritise your self-care at the moment so cry and do whatever you need, be kind to yourself. I have made an effort to eat properly as I was so dazed at first I barely ate or slept. This made a difference to me personally. Possibly it’s just getting enough fluids in.
I agree with Spuffycat, My darling husband, best friend and soul mate, died end of June this year, very early days still.
Making sure you drink, eat and sleep are important to how you cope, I had to force food down in the beginning, and drank more water than ever before, it was all I could drink, my tummy was in a state that’s almost undiscribable, but I’m sure you all know that anyway.
I’m still taking one day at a time, it is like many who have been bereaved longer than we have say, its like a rollercoster, the grief comes in waves, I try to cope by finding things to do, at least for a couple of hours my mind is taken away from the pain, my husband is always with me in all I do, I had to unscrew a screw the other day, and it wasn’t moving, so I looked over at hubby’s photo, and said come on now I need your help, tried again and managed to unscrew it, it made me smile an I thanked him, including him in all I do has helped me.
I wear his photo in a locket round my neck, he comes everywhere with me, if I’m unsure about anything, needing his reassurance, where’s before I’d reach for his hand, I now reach for my locket, it helps, do what ever helps you survive each day, if thats a sofa day with a box of tissue then do it, but if it’s a nice walk then do that, every day will be different because for us all, life is now different.
Everyday I think of something I can do tomorrow, small jobs, nothing too major, then plan for it, gather what’s needed, its not only helping me through this dark empty tunnel, its also getting things needed done.
I’m probably making it sound easy, I know it’s not, someday I’m crying my way through what I’m doing, but still doing, its still very hard to wake to face each day without him, to end each day alone, to lie awake for hours recalling all our future plans, to remember our wonderful past, I try to be thankful for what I’ve been fortunate enough to have had, to have found a love so strong even death cannot stop it overflowing.
I now except some days will be worse than others, and I have to be kind to myself on those days, knowing that tomorrow might be ok. I feel for everyone on this site, because I know the overwhelming dispare we have all experienced, some say it never goes, but it does get more manageable, I’m living in hope now,
keep reading, keep writing, it does help,
bless you all who have read to this point,
hugs everyone x Chrissy3
Hi I just want too be me again Susie I have a beautiful grandson xander he’s 8 weeks today and I just can’t seem too connect too him it hurts so much when I take him in my arms all I feel is sadness and hurt and my son just says he wants his mum back that I have everything too live for I so want too be me again just don’t know how too get there I’m not me anymore
Will I ever get too be happy again I wake up each morning and it feels so empty I feel totally lost and hopeless it’s been 4 month and I have so many bad days I’m excausted xx
This isn’t my first loss, neither will it be my last I expect.
It does get easier, it’s not that the pain lessens really, it’s just that I have had days where I haven’t cried or I have only had a fleeting sad feeling rather than huge waves of sadness.
What happens is that life grows around the pain…at the moment it is everything and gradually although it’s there, it stops being everything eventually. That’s my experience of loss anyway.
My counselling placement in training was at a hospice, and I’d recommend counselling if after a few months you still feel really dreadful. Nobody can take the pain away but it can help to have someone go through it with you.
If you need signposting let me know - I’m happy to help point you in the right direction.
To all who grieve I send you all the strength and best wishes in the world to help you get through it.
It’s still all very raw early days for us both, try not to expect too much too soon,
I find in the little moments of happiness there is also sadness, I’m trying to work with them side by side, I think that is my life for now,
I know my husband really didn’t want me to be unhappy, right now it’s something I just can’t help, grieving is an awful part of life at some point for all of us, excepting it and our attitude towards it makes the difference,
You have a wonderful new grandson in your life now, you could tell him all about his grandfather, keep his memeoery alive with lovely little stories he can grow with. Having something to focus on will help you I’m sure. It must be awful for you not feeling the connection yet, I’m sure it will come, give it time.f
Grief is exhausting, time alone, will tell if you will ever be happy again, I know right now you don’t feel you ever will be, but I’m hoping for you that you will, give yourself time allow this grief to work it’s way, be kind to yourself.
Hugs take care,
I’m on every day , reading, some times writing, it all helps. Chrissy3
Thank u crissie I so hopeful my anxiety and panic attacks make it ten times worse I so hate getting up in morning and it’s like I’ve lost him again I have too stand out back door as the anxiety kicks in I so much want too be happy but hopefully in time al get too that place I just long for him sometimes I think I’m going crazy it’s a hard journey too go alone and not looking faward too Xmas or new year as he’s not here anymore x x
Thank u it helps xx