It all seems pointless

My Mum passed away in June of this year. I am having problems getting over her loss and life seems so pointless without her. I know that I am wallowing in self pity and know that she would not be happy about it, but I am just finding it so difficult to see the point in anything now.

I turned 50 eight days after Mum died, I never married or had children. My only other family is my sister, but she hasn’t talked to me since Mum’s funeral. I feel so isolated and alone, there seems no point in anything. I am finding even simply, everyday things too much to handle. I would have hoped that I would start feeling better by now, but things just seem to keep getting worse.

I hate this. I just don’t know how to motivate myself to carry on and find myself wondering if anyone would even notice if I wasn’t here, Sorry to sound negative, I know that everyone on here has their own problems and it has been heartbreaking reading other people’s stories. I just feel like I needed to vent a bit.

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Dear Sam I totally emphathise with your loss.its so heartbreaking.I lost my darling girl just over a year now.I can’t cope either sobbing very much of the time.like you ifeel a lot like not going on.but I have to for my granddaughters sake.like yourself my dearest girl sharryn never married we were a three female unit.and now very very sadly its just me and Gabriella.all I cansay is just take a step at a time.what I would give to have my girl back I still can’t believe it.it hits me quite often like a thunderbolt in my stomach.take heart Sam you are most definetly not on your own hugs to you.Annette.

Hi Sam, I lost my mum in June too and it’s so so tough. I’m 38 & I cant believe my mum won’t be around for my 40th. My eldest is 18 in March :frowning: Everything hurts, memories are too painful. I don’t know how I should feel, I don’t know what is acceptable and what isn’t. I’m so used to being this strong independent woman and I hate feeling so vulnerable.

I’m lucky as I have my Sister. Is there any bridges to be built between you and your sister?

So sorry for your loss, my mum died just 4 weeks ago and its a struggle, we rang every day and now the phone never rings. I can understand how you feel, also my siblings and I havent spoken for some years now, so I was not included in the funeral arrangements, which hurts a lot, it makes everything else a lot worse. I am just trying to get over each day, what else can we do.

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I cared for my mum for ten years and lost her a week ago. Like you Sam, I don’t have a partner or children to console me, and the world feels very empty at times. It’s an all involving role, being a carer, and I nver really thought ahead to the day when I’d be without mum to look after. I feel it’s different for other family members who weren’t so closely involved on a day to day basis. I doubt they can even begin to understand how it feels for the one who did the caring. I may try bereavement counselling, and wondered if you might have thought about this for yourself, or of getting in touch with your nearest carers centre for support? They seem a good first point of contact as they can provide information about what’s available in a particular area. Best wishes. Jan

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Sorry to hear this Sam. I lost my dear partner a year ago I dont have family and find each day so lonely and boring and think whats the point then I turn on the tv and watch the news then I think um many people are in the same boat. The trouble is that doesnt help our situation Every day is so boring and weekends I dont speak to anyone now and its a dead loss. I cry a lot and wish he was still with me-he was my rock my best friend and my life is so empty would welcome any e mails from people

Kris

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Dear Annette,

I am so sorry for your lose, I cannot imagine the pain of losing a child. Thank you for your kind words. I am sending hugs back to you.

Best wishes,

Sam

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