It’s all come flooding back

My my died 18 months ago, Nov 18, after a torturous 2 year battle with cancer. I was able to be with her at the end and pleased I could be there and she wasn’t alone, I have to say It was the worst thing ever and have suffered what my counselled has said is PTSD. I focused on my dad and sorting everything out. Then my dad died suddenly 5 months ago, November 19 only 2 weeks short of the anniversary of my mums death. Things have been very difficult and I can’t even begin to describe how I have been feeling or coped. Today my sister in law’s dad died of Covid 19. I’m shocked to the core and I find myself crying and shaking as it’s brought all the emotions and loss and trauma of the last 18 months up. Just needed to put that down and out there. I’m also on my own and I’m the vulnerable group and my 8 year old daughter is staying with my ex and I am feeling so so frustrated. Hope everyone else is staying safe

Hi bluezebra77
I’m so sorry to see how you are struggling at the moment. Its 10 months since I lost my mum very suddenly and the thought of dealing with another death in the next few years makes me anxious let a lone losing both parents in the same 12 months.
Having sad that my dad died 20 years before my mum and still the memories of that grief came back last june so I’m not sure any length of time really helps.
This lockdown is definitely makings things very hard. I am lucky that my 13 year old daughter is with me st the moment and my ex has decided to leave her with me untll lockdown is eased as I couldnt bear to be without her. I really feel for you.
Can you set up lots of facetime or zoom chats with her?
My friends dad died of covid 19 last week. Although he was elderly he was recovering from pneumonia and expecting to come home before the virus got to him.
My mums still got 3 siblings alive that are in their mid eighties. I do worry that I will get news that one if them will get it. It’s an anxious time.
Things will get better in time x

Thank you C1971. Yes it it a very anxious time for us all. I do FaceTime my daughter which is of course lovely. I am glad you have yours with you. I know people are losing loved ones everyday to the Covid 19 and their loss and grief is new and my heart goes out to them. X

Hi Bluezebra,
I am so sorry for your loss. You have certainly have had a hard time of it and it is so natural to feel the way you do as you never properly grieved for your mum at the time and with each new death you are just reliving everything. I am so glad that you have a counsellor that must make a difference even if its just a video. You say you have a sister in law which must mean you have a brother and obviously he is supporting his wife but do tell him how much you feel for him at this time and maybe even if it is just over the phone that you can support each other. Also are you and your ex friends because if so that would be great because even if you are no longer in love but are friends maybe he could offer some much needed support as a friend as he must have known your parents too. I hope you have someone a friend or other family member you can phone to talk to and gain some support. I know what it is like to be alone at this time and when you are alone and grieving it can be very hard please keep your chin up. Know someone is thinking of you.