It’s been a year

We have realised that it’s been a year since our daughter Amy died suddenly. We have all seen things outside which I think are from Amy.
My eldest daughter who found Amy and tried to revive her sees butterflies.
My husband and I see feathers, and we have a family of bats next door. I see them flying around the house at night.
Just after her death, I found a collection of bird feathers in my car park space outside my shop.
We talk about Amy a lot, we are all grateful for her very full 21 years.
When Amy was born, I had a cesarean section, she was the smallest of all my babies, weighing 6 pounds and 8 ounces. Amy grew into a lovely woman. Amy was always smiling.


Hi @Jack27 ,

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences and memories of beautiful Amy with the community :blue_heart:

I also wanted to share this Sue Ryder article with you which may offer you some support as you reach the first anniversary.
Remembering a loved one: death anniversary | Sue Ryder

Take good care,

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@Jack27 I’m so very sorry for your loss.
The 2nd anniversary of losing my son is fast approaching on the 8th October. Hard to believe it’s 2 years already.
I also find feathers and believe it’s a sign. My older son was doing a cycling race, I was at the start line and just as he set off I looked down and saw a feather. It made me gasp for air.
I went to cemetery a couple of weeks ago and I was sat on the grass talking away to my son and from nowhere a feather came down and landed on my leg. I said ‘I know you’re with me’.

Hi Gill
Sorry for your loss.

I’m glad to hear that you also find feathers.

Some of my friends have robins visit them, but they have usually lost a mother or father.

Our beagle Hartree was very close to Amy. Hartree is a very affectionate dog, and I’m sure that she misses Amy too.

Both my husband and I see feathers, but we’re not looking for them……it’s just occasionally one will become visible and then you know it’s meant for you.

I hope you are well and managing to get on with life.

Kind Regards,

Hi, your writing gave me goosebumps. A friend told me to look for signs and I saw them everywhere and after 14 weeks (since my son took his life) I am still seeing them. Two white doves in my garden, butterflies, rain from nowhere, a sudden strong wind, cloud shapes…… it helps me feel him close

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My son believed there was nothing after death its been 7 weeks now and not a sign, my peacelily flowered just before i thought it was for my Aunt on end of life care, i may have thrown that very forcefully into garden. For two other deaths a rose bush flowered that year just twice one for each of them, and ive had feathers over the years from Emily, but not felt anything from my son at all, and that hurts as well. Though part of me thinks perhaps he wouldn’t be around he wouldn’t want to see how i am now.

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I understand, you feel what you feel, it changes too doesn’t it. I’ve not dreamt of my son yet, some said I would but I’ve not remembered it if I did.
Everything hurts, we need and if it doesn’t happen we hurt, feel let down. Bless you,

I would need to sleep to dream, i think ive had one dream but in that i managed to save him.

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Hi Taff,
Are you having trouble sleeping?

I have struggled with getting to sleep since my Mum died in 2004. So I started listening to a portable radio, which helped. It was mainly the shipping forecast, or Radio 4, latterly I listened to BBC4 Extra, as any spoken word helped me get to sleep.
Now I have Audible and just recently I have found audio books on youtube.

If any of these help you sleep let me know. I was determined not to resort to sleeping pills :slightly_smiling_face:

Dont think ive slept much for 7 weeks, slept in tent im garden and that helped think it was the motorway noise blanked some of the thoughts i keep having

I have always slept better in a tent or caravan, a house can be too stuffy.

Hopefully your sleeping will improve.

Take care.