It’s not him, it’s me

I can’t face anything or anyone
Drinking far to much
Please all take care xx

Debbie55 I understand you pain I really do infact we all do on here. Unfortunately we are left to carryon this life without the person we lost. I try to think how Rob would have wanted me to deal with situation and as hard as it is try to live my lift with as much laughter as I can ( it’s hard at the moment with lockdown)
Continue to make memories in honour of the one we have lost I’m sure that what they would have wanted .
Take care and please keep chatting there is light at the end of the tunnel

I totally agree with you ann. My husband was a caring, kind and loving man. He would give you help with anything. He loved people, children , animals and nature. If there is a god, why did he make him suffer and take him away from me. He never hurt a fly. X

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Hi Sheila same here i have 2 grandsons both under 3 they can tell their grandad is not around. They run straight in the house looking for where he used to sit and don’t see him. I am so pleased he got to see 2 grandson’s before he died. We will keep grandad George’s memory alive in their lives it’s important. However when they visit it certainly takes away my sadness. We are blessed to have grandchildren.

Hi Juneie

We certainly are. There is a second grandson on the way, potentially if mother has to deliver early hospital are talking about dates around my husband’s birthday. Not in our hands but my son is hoping this is not the case.

Our little grandson already resembles son/husband and each day he takes on new appearances similar to his granda - his hair is identical to his grandas in terms of colour and curls. My husband was a constant at our grandson’s side - he adored him. So heartbreaking but they have so many pictures together and video clips.

Take care

I like the term sister’s in grief .It’s like being a member of a horrible club. Lockdown has definitely turned up the grief. I lost my husband nearly 5 years ago and my mum last November.
Hope we all have a better day tomorrow .

Mothers day today. I hope all you lovely mothers have had your breakfast in bed and doing self-care but today being waited on if that was possible for you. We have been wives, partners and lost our most precious. If we are a mother or not we have had a mother who may or may not be alive I believe we just have to give thanks to God for their lives. I thank God for my husband George who came into my life. All I know is because of him. I am learning to journey on independently. Of course I miss him every single day especially when I see couples together and I want to say to them make the most of your time together as none of us know when our time is up.

I will be looking at your recommendation Ann above of Tom Zuba when our work on earth is finished it is finished.

As a woman of faith I know that this world is not my home and I will see my husband again.

Happy mother’s day to all those hard working, caring mother’s also grieving like myself.

Thank you! Have a lovely day. x

Hi AnneR I hope your day was good yesterday. I was tearful most of the day just kept thinking of George kinda feeling sorry for myself I guess without him.
How have you managed clearing and sorting through your husbands belongings clothes etc. I think that’s what made me emotional yesterday. My bedroom is a mess with everything scattered since George died in January.

It is a very difficult thing t do not sure how others managed to sort through your loved ones things without floods of tears.


Thanks to my two lovely daughters, I had a lovely day yesterday, thank you. The daughter who is not in my bubble came in the morning with one of my grandsons and stood across the courtyard for a lovely long time chatting., she brought flowers from her and her sister, and some beautiful artificial wild flowers which looked so real that I thought she had picked them! Luckily, the weather was ok. I miss her, but we do go for distanced walks occasionally when the weather is good and she isn’t working.
Later, the daughter who is in my bubble came with my granddaughter and took me to their house where my lovely son-in-law had cooked a lamb roast dinner, and I had evening with them and my young grandson. Not to mention the hamster and two rabbits! I am truly blessed.

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Oops, sorry juneie, in my reply, I didn’t answer your question about disposing of my husband’s clothes. The answer is, I haven’t, yet, but I will when I feel up to it. My daughters have offered to do it, but I feel it is a job for me.
Tony belonged to a gun club and had drilled into me that if anything happened to him, my first priority was to get the guns out of the house. As the licence was, obviously, in his name, keeping the guns here without him was an offence. I needed that pressure like a hole in the head! However, I contacted the Firearms officer, and he was really helpful and he took them ‘into custody’ until a gun dealer could collect them. They have now been collected and are waiting to be sold. I shall give the money to my family.
Everything else can wait. Tony died last June but I still feel too devastated to care about disposal of his things. There are obviously some things I shall keep, a# will the girls.
It is a nightmare on top of a nightmare. I don’t know what the answer is, but we have to carry on somehow, don’t we?
Hugs, Ann x

Thanks so much for your lovely response AnnR.

Your day yesterday sounds wonderful isn’t it lovely to have wonderful family around. You are very blessed. Yes good about the guns that sounds tricky but you’ve sorted it. I did listen to Tom Zumba said (I listened to his You Tube Video) we are alive and need to keep going. What a strong man after so many losses…AMAZING!!.

My intention is to sort this bedroom as it is a complete mess my husband would be completely shocked to see it in this state. But I have started and aim to get is sorted at least by the end of this week.

Thanks again AnnR I appreciate your wonderful support and for listening.