Its been 40 days

its been 40 days since I lost you babe I’m so empty and lost without you the days seem so long I can’t think of anything but you I go out when I have to eat once a day to keep going for the animals I look at them and tell myself I have to keep going for them but I’m so scared that I can’t do this without you I look at your picture and I just want to be with you I love you so much and miss you so badly I’m so torn about what to do I know you would want me to go on and our furbabys need me but I’m so tired baby and so broken everything feels hopeless without you

So sorry you feel

@Amylost thankyou I’m so sorry for your loss

hi @Casey1
So sorry you feel torn what to do. I feel life is tough and pointless. Your dogs need you, they are grieving for Pauline don’t let them lose you too.
I was a wreck the first 3 months, didn’t know which way to turn, feeling lost and abandoned. I still cry everyday but its not all day like before.
I try to walk most days but I feel empty as Marti always walked with me. I like drawing but some days I find that a struggle too.
I see a counsellor once a week, she helps a little, but then I set of home and feel low again. People say it takes time, we do build a life around our grief, but we will think of our loved one with happy memories instead of having this gut wrenching pain we carry now, although we can still in the future feel pain if we think about them too hard, but we learn to cope and try to carry on.
I understand your pain, I really do, your not alone.
Amy x

@Amylost thankyou Amy I am so deeply sorry you lost marti I know how heartbreaking it is and I appreciate everything you have said I don’t want to let pauline or my dog cara or my cats chip and dale down I know they need me and I do need them but I wonder if they would be better of somewhere else rather than with me don’t get me wrong I love them I’m just terrified of losing any of them I always thought pauline would be there to help me through if that happened but now she is gone the last time I lost a pet I tried to end my life I have sever ocd and its always been focused on fears of losing those I love so as you can imagine its pretty bad right now but I won’t allow myself to give up I’m all my babies have now I just feel so alone and beaten the only place I get support is on here and from people I have met in here once again though thankyou