It's been a month already and I'm still crying daily

It’s been a month since a friend passed unexpectedly. I’m finding it so hard. I simply cannot comprehend never seeing her again. My son never going round there for dinner (he was friends with her son). I’m full of guilt that we didn’t do some of the things we’d talked about and how I hadn’t done things I said I will as life was so busy. I’m constantly punishing myself in every way I can, thoughts, stopped exercise, eating rubbish, I’m studying for a course, I’ve stopped doing that too. Nothing seems worth it anymore. I’m scared of my closest loved ones passing, even my own passing. I just can’t seem to move forward. I’m doing all I can for my friends son and husband as you can imagine but nothing is enough.

Hi, I am pleased you have found this site, everyone on here knows the horrible feelings when we loss someone special to us and your feelings are all about grief. The guilt, depression and not knowing where life will take you. Please think what would your friend say if she read your post? I can guarantee she would certainly tell you not to feel any of those ‘regrets’ thoughts and to make the most of your life. You have the chance to enjoy and have a wonderful life which she can’t. She would be so cross, l bet. Please look at counselling just to get you back to your old self as much as you can after losing such a important person in your life. Take care and I am very pleased you are thinking of her family. S xx

I know you’re right. I also know I’m being really hard on myself when I’m grieving and doing so much for her family. I just miss her so much and still just cannot believe she’s gone. Even though I’ve been to her funeral, I still can’t believe she’s gone. I’m allowing myself to feel like this for the weekend and to slowly start looking after me more from Monday xx

Good idea, best wishes.