Hi everyone. I joined this group two years ago after losing my husband but haven’t been back here for a while, I have been trying to restart some sort of life without him. I have been lucky enough to have bereavement support at the local hospice and have met some lovely people there.
So I took the plunge this year and booked a ‘solo’ holiday in Italy. I was really nervous about it but it was amazing, I had a fabulous time.
However, I have come home to some frightening news. I have a spinal problem which could, very quickly, paralyse me from the waist down. I’m scared, and desperately need my husband for hugs and support. The uncontrollable tears are flowing all over again. Just as I started to get going with my life again, travelling was something we both loved to do, it has all come to a full stop I’m being negative I know, I’m sure I’ll get plenty of support, but having to rely on other people just scares me. I miss my husband every minute of every day, I so wish he was here.
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I am so sorry you are going through this.
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What is wrong with your spine if you don’t mind me asking? Do you have a Syrinx?
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It’s Cauda Equina. I have had Scoliosis for many years but I could live with that. This may have been caused or certainly aggravated by the scoliosis. It will probably mean surgery, I’ll know more next week.
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Well if the surgery helps go for it.
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So sorry you are having to go through this.
It is frightening being without your beloved partner and no one there to support you
Kate
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I have my son. Maybe it’s just me but you just feel so alone
Wishing you the very best of luck and I hope they can do something to help you xx
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So sorry to hear this Jules.
All the very best to you. 
