It's getting harder

It’s almost 2 months since my husband died suddenly at work. I’ve had my sister staying with me but she lives 400 mile away and she’s now gone home. So being alone I’m really missing him so much. We had cuddle times at night and just sat together and its making me so bereft right now thinkingabout it… He was only 64. Our son got married in June and we had such an amazing day. We have videos and photos and they are so hard to see. I can’t bare that he will never meet any future grandchildren. We can’t spend our retirement together. I’ve lost all the men in life at such a young age. My brother was 61 and my father the same age.
My son is a Doctor and is very busy all though he comes
to help me as often as he can. We cried our hearts out at the weekend as he was doing jobs he dad always did. I couldn’t bare it He stayed that night rang his wife and phoned in work as I was so upset.
All the practical things are more or less done. Just our business office to clear out and close down. I have no Income so after Christmas the job hunting starts. He was also renovating the house and there is loads to do …I don’t even know where to start. I know my family will always be there for me but my husband and I had already fallen out with one of his brothers and sister because of discrepancies in our business with money going missing. However his other brother has said he’ll help with the house and his son my nephew and I knew my son will do what he can.
The pain Is just unbearable right now.

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I’m so sorry for the loss of your husband, @Jude123. I can hear how much pain you are in. I think many members will identify with how you are feeling; after the initial few weeks where there’s such a focus on sorting out the practicalities, the reality can then set in.

Would you consider counselling? We offer free Online Bereavement Counselling which is held via video chat. Maybe take a look and see if it’s something you would find helpful. Please do keep reaching out here, you are not alone.

Seaneen

I will consider this yes thank you x

Dear @Jude123 i am sorry that you lost your husband and so suddenly. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of things right now and from my own experience I know how overwhelming it can be.
My husband gained his wings 4 months ago and sorting everything is really upsetting and the loneliness is ever present.
I hope the offers of support help you through this difficult time and I wish you well as you find your way through your loss.
Jen x

Thank you Jen it’s so hard isn’t it …I can’t even watch Christmas adverts and songs as he loved Christmas so much. I know I’m onbthe worst journey of my life. I’m angry because no matter what I said he just wouldn’t go to the doctors I’m pretty sure he could have been treated but just wouldn’t go.
Jude x

Hi @Jude123

So sorry for your loss. . I feel like we have similar situation my husband passed 11 weeks today suddenly at work, the shock and pain is unbearable still and I feel just getting harder each day. He was only 53 and I still feel like he’s gonna walk through that door. I do have people around me who have been amazing but still the loneliness is there. I have a nothing feeling if that makes sense and still cry constantly. Wish I could wake up from this nightmare. My life is now pointless and I feel like I am just existing, I push through everyday for my kids. Xx

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I totally understand I’m just existing too. I only have one son, and he is married and lives about 40 mile from me. The nights are the worst during the day I think we’ll he’ll be at work. Then he doest come home.

We used to love this time of year the prep and run up to Christmas. It’s just not the same. All the people who said they would do anything for me are faling by the wayside gradually.

I still don’t know if I can live or cope without him. He used to do so much in and around the house to even having to contemplate getting people in to do the jobs he would only take 5 mins to do is such a frustration. I miss him so much. Jude x

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