It's getting worse


I lost my mother 5 weeks ago to cancer and copd. It’s fair to say that we were close. I’m still in shock… the stress of planning the funeral was like nothing I have experienced. Managed to do it. The day of the funeral felt surreal. In recent days, ten days now since the funeral, I am starting to be hit with the fact that I can’t talk to my mother again and I am starting to feel worse and worse. Some friends have been helpful and I have therapy starting but I am feeling so upset in the nighttime back at home that it is terrifying. Partly started to think that I can’t get through this. Kieran


So sorry for your loss its so hard losing a loved one. My husband died in August and I feel worse as time goes on . I see something or hear something that puts me right back to that awful day . People say it gets better but it hasn’t for me. Hope you find some peace in the future and let your friends help you

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Hello Kieran.
I’m really sorry. I lost my Mum last week. I don’t really know who the person is writing those words - but it doesn’t feel like it’s me.
On the first day I was just so confused and bewildered that I called the Samaritan’s and they offered to call me back several hours later as well, which they did. It wasn’t necessarily about what they said, it can never really ease the pain can it, it was just that it was another human voice and I didn’t have to hold my thoughts in silence. It may be helpful as you wait for therapy.
Things don’t seem very real for me right now, so I’d like to be able to help but don’t have any wisdom. I do send you compassionate thoughts though and do take care of yourself.


Hi Kieran,

Sorry for your loss. It’s been 2 years since I lost my mum. She pasted with COPD too. I saw her everyday before this day and was there when she left us. It is very hard to come to terms with and I feel your pain and heart ache. Everyday is a struggle in its own way. I never have a sat where I don’t think about my mum. I see it where I know she is always with me.

I have made an area in my room that has her picture and a few sentimental items and alway see them daily. I talk to her and always ask for advice and some how know what she would say.

Stay strong Kieran. We are all here to help you.


Hi Ant, I am sorry for your loss too. Thank you for the considerate message and I felt some relief from the pain from reading your message. It was nice to read how you have honored your mother. I am sorry your mother had copd, going out to the shops with my mum was hard for a while and she had to stop alot so I could sense her deterioration (you may be able to identify with that) but this all feels so final… Iam missing my mother alot and I’ve had covid for the last few days and miss my mother more then ever now. . I read someone saying that they missed their mum so much when they were unwell. I’m crying writing this but thank you. X. Sorry its a bit of a ramble. Kieran