Its getting worse

I am able to function better now (not fully) but emotionally I am so broken and devastated. Mornings and afternoons are the worst for me because I used to talk to my mom during these times. I write in a diary to her. I am doing everything to get better but I don’t know if I can continue doing it. I have put up her pictures everywhere in our apartment. She was so excited to visit my new place. I live in the US and mom dad in India. Her one of the recent texts to me was “let’s start looking at the tickets. I can’t wait to come see you”
How do I recover from this huge loss. I am only 31. How will I keep going without the most important person of my life.
I just hope I die of natural causes so I can go to my mom.
Maybe time heals in terms of functioning and doing regular things but emotionally I am still on the day 1 pain.

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You know she will always be a big part of you a everything you do, so emotional you will heal and please keep doing everything you can to help yourself because only you can do it for yourself and your mum. They say, smile and the world smiles with you. :smiley_cat:S xxx

you are like me … on these boards, seeking and seeking … like the pup who does not understand where their master has gone to.

I read the obits seeking my parents because like these people, they are dead.

the path forward is long and hard … but Time takes care of it. but you must grieve because you must do this “job”. I am still lost … so I get coming here, wailing, suffering … it is SO hard.

I wish though the world offered more community and less online living … I think it is not a substitute.

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Thanks Susie. I do feel her presence sometimes. I am trying very hard but failing everyday.

Hi Berit, you are so right!!! I don’t know what I would have done without this group. Sometimes I don’t even expect people to respond but it feels good to just write your feelings down here. I spend most of the time on here. I’m stuck in the loop. I just can’t move forward without her.
Please try to find some strength. I will do it too. It’s hard. I keep thinking why it happened with us. I know there are no answers but I keep thinking about it all the time.