Happy anniversary pauline my beautiful darling its 21 years today 17th August how can I celebrate it without you I have to acknowledge it because its when our life started together but its not the same without you here with me its been 4 months and 3 days since you died yet it still feels like yesterday I love you so very much my heart and soul are yours forever you made my life so happy and gave me more love than I had ever known before thankyou for loving me and making me happy and for everything we shared I just wish you were here with me for me my life began when we started our journey together and my life ended the moment you passed you are my everything my heart my soul my every thought of every second of every day is of you I will always cherish and treasure you and the love we shared I miss you so much I long to feel your touch I miss your laughter I miss your smile I miss your voice I miss hearing you say I love you I miss your hugs I miss your presence I miss our conversations but most of all I miss you I’m so lost withoutyou fly high and soar my angel I love you Pauline with all that I am and all that I will ever be I’m yours forever my love for you will never die until we meet again xxxxx
Hello @Casey1. I feel so sad that you are facing your wedding anniversary alone. All the ‘firsts’ are painful and your post shows how very much you loved Pauline. It is still very early days for you . Days will pass but your love for Pauline never will. She is still with you in spirit so talk to her, even through tears. She has shaped you into who you are now. Make her proud of you.
Blessings to you.x
Thinking of you on a day that is so, so hard. Love is strong. Love like this never dies. I hope you spend the day feeling Pauline’s love for you. Take care
Thinking of you.
@Jean2 hi Jean thankyou I do talk to her all the time I just feel so empty without her and I will always try to make her proud I’m so very sorry for your loss stay safe and take care sending hugs x
@Jules4 hi jules thankyou I hope you are doing ok I know you are in pain too stay safe and take care sending hugs x
@Sheila26 hi Sheila thankyou I hope you are doing ok I know how much pain we are all in on here stay safe and take care sending hugs x
You are in my thoughts
@jack10 thanks Jack it’s been a tough day so heartbreaking
without pauline here and I had a grief counselling session today I haven’t seen you post in a while I hope you are as ok as you can be with what we are all going through stay safe and take care sending hugs x
Hi Casey,What a very sad anniversary for you.You loved each other so very very much and I know it is terrible without Pauline for you.
This is so hard, an anniversary.I lost my same sex wife 18 weeks ago, and my first birthday without her was sad and surreal.I call out to her howling,Where are you.
Do talk to Pauline, I talk to my love, just telling her what I am doing, and when I go out, where I,m going.It was so sudden at home.Ive known for a long time it was coming, but never expected it to happen like that.
All her things are a constant reminder, and I went thru some of her old paperwork today and threw a bit away,and looked at other things in the drawer, but I felt invasive.
But her everyday things about the house, like her watch where she left it, or her crossword book, are a comfort.But at least I did something today,but didn’t plan to.Best way I think.
But seeing her favourite clothes and the boxes of her lovely shoes Maybe is too much.
How does it effect you Casey when you see Pauline’s things?
Thinking of you, Vee 1
@Vee1 hi vee our anniversary was really hard I miss pauline so much but it was the start of our beautiful journey together I have been worse since the anniversary I honestly thought she would get better and come home they found her unconscious on the ward and called me to say she had gone into cardiac arrest and it wasn’t looking good I begged them to keep trying they said they would then I got a call back about 25 mins later and was told they couldn’t get a rhythm and she was gone I hadn’t seen her in a week because she was moved to a surgical ward and visitors weren’t allowed weird thing is 4 weeks before she died she said to me I think it’s the beginning of the end and I don’t want you to go through that I told her it wasn’t and she would be fine they said she wouldn’t have felt any pain I hope they are right I just wish I could have been with her all of paulines things are where she left them I can’t bring myself to move anything I feel comfort from them I looked through her mobile at her gallery and felt invasive doing that I looked through all our text messages she was found unconscious at 2am just before she must have seen my text message telling her how much I love her and that she is all I want and need she sent a reply but it was all letters and numbers but from the keyboard you can tell she was trying to say I love you I talk to pauline from the minute I get up until the minute I fall asleep even walking the dog I talk to her as you can imagine I get some weird looks I’m so sorry you lost your wife and for the heartbreak you are going through it’s my birthday next month I will be 55 and all I can think is I can’t do years like this not without her and her birthday in December she would have been 53 I hope you find some moments of peace you are in my thoughts stay safe and take care of yourself I usually check in on here a few times a day so if you ever want to chat sending hugs x
Hello @Casey1. Your love for Pauline shines through in your posts on here. I feel so sorry for your loss. You are doing a good thing by talking to her constantly and also talking about her. No one is ever gone until we stop talking about them. I found it comforting to have a cushion with my husbands photo on it and I talk to it every morning. (my-picture.co.uk)
I wish you a peaceful day.
Love and light.x
@Jean2 hi Jean thankyou I will look that up I am so very sorry for the loss of your husband wow 50 years love like that is a beautiful thing I tell myself at least we had found our soulmates and had a beautiful love that will last forever some people never have that and one day we will all be reunited with our beautiful lost loves I’m so sorry for all of us going through this heartbreak I do hope you find some moments of peace stay safe and take care sending hugs x I’m often around if you ever want to chat