Its so hard without you

Hi all. Its been 2 months today (17th) since my Grandma left and it will be 3 months on Sunday (22nd) since i lost my mum. No amount of time is healing this hurt like people say it does. I sometimes feel invisible and that people dont and will never understand the ampint of strength it takes i sometimes feel i cant talk to my dad or other family members about how much i miss them and how much it hurts. As i dont want to upset them as i know they too are hurting It only feels like yesterday that we lost them i can still hear the words now over and over again. Some days i dont know what to do. Im back at work as abit of a distraction i guess but its incredibly difficult and exhausting some days etc

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Work is exhausting and hard even though its good for you. I hope you managed to heal and can build yourself slowly. I have tried to do mini milestone each day just one thing to achieve. It’s giving me something to focus on. But the nights are long and the morning is a slap in the face. I wish we didn’t have to loose people and them be taken from us when we have so much love to give. I hope you can find some peace in the next year I am sorry

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Thankyou im in my mid 30’s and it hurts so much to know that im still relatively young to lose my mum and then lose my Grandma who was my last grandparent. Close together and to nowknow that i have to live the rest of life without them both hurts. Im on annual leave this week so struggling abit with everything at the min ive started doing my diamond art painting again which along with cross stitch my mum taught me how to do them. I was thinking of starting them back up when they were both in hosp but then my mum died October 22 and so i lost all passion for them and still dont have much passion i lost my Grandma 4 weeks later November 17th 2022 and just working though all the 1sts of everything now

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Hi. I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with 2 losses so close together. I can fully identify with how you’ve said you’re feeling. I lost my mum on 30th November and it still doesn’t feel real. It was quick and quite unexpected - she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer on the 18th November then died only 2 weeks later. I feel like I’m living in a completely different world. I’m also mid-30s and mum was only 64. I feel like life has been robbed from her. I have 2 wonderful children and I feel like I’m doing such a bad job of being a mum myself right now. I’m back at work but I feel like I don’t care and nothing matters any more. I have no energy. Ive got so much support around me but I still feel unbelievably lonely. I just hope this gets better at some stage but I’m not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel just now

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I completely understand. I lost my mum to leukaemia on 22 Dec, just 24 hours after she was diagnosed. I just can’t fathom how it’s possible my mum and best friend has gone. I can’t believe I am a woman without her mum. It breaks my heart every minute and I don’t know how to carry on.

I am not pleased other people feel the same as me but I hope we can find solidarity and strength in supporting each other through this misery.

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So sorry to hear that it was so quick following your mum’s diagnosis, that’s so tough. I hope you can find the strength to keep going, but I know how hard that is. I have found some comfort in being able to challenge myself to try and adopt some of my mum’s good qualities and do things that I know she would like. I also talk about her lots but I do feel a bit like other people are trying to get back to “normal”.
Someone said to me “they only go away if you let them”, and I truly believe that xx

Thank you for responding Christie, it all helps. Your words are comforting. I’d very much like to be like my wonderful mum. Well done for getting this far in your grief. Xx

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