Its valentines day and 10 months since I lost you

Valentines day was always special for us and we always made it special for eachother. It’s my first one without you and it feels so wrong. But then in all honesty everything feels wrong without you. Its also 10 months since I lost you and had my heart broken. I don’t know how I’m still here and how I can keep going without you. I don’t want to as this world has lost its light love and laughter and the most beautiful kindest gentlest loving woman I have ever known. I’m keeping my word to you and taking care of the babies and keeping on going because you would want me to. I love you pauline and I’m so deeply and completely in love with you and I always will be. You hold my heart and soul and will do forever. I talk to you through out the day and night as though you were still here. It gives me some comfort it hurts to because you are not here with me. But I believe you can hear me and see me. I just wish I could hear and see you. I think of our love that we share and i get a warm feeling inside me. I get comfort from that. I carry you safely tucked within my heart and always will and with me in all I do. I know I will never live again, I will just exist because there is no life withoutyou. I will spend the rest of my life grieving you. I’m so broken and lost withoutyou, but I want to do you proud and I will try to. You once told me if you went first you would want me to be happy even if that meant moving on with someone else. But I’m sorry baby I can’t do that. When you have found the one you know and you are my one and always will be. I know some people find love again and I’m happy for those that do. But I don’t want to, not now or ever. I’m yours babe and always will be. One thing that helps me keep on going as well as our pets is that as long as I’m alive you will never be forgotten and will always be loved wanted and needed. I have never loved or wanted or needed or missed anyone as much as I do you. You made me complete and made my life worth living. Losing you has crushed me and is the hardest thing I have ever had to try to live with. The pain is so hard to try to explain its like every single part of you hurts so bad and like your heart is being continuously ripped out. But the love we share is the most amazing beautiful thing in the word. That feeling like you could walk on air and feeling so content and that you had finally found home the place where you belonged. Thankyou for loving me and giving me the best gift in the world You and your love . I have cried more in the last 10 months than I have in my 55 years. But every tear I shed is filled with love for you. I hope that one day I can be half the woman you were. I’m so proud to have been and still be your life partner. I’m proud of you and I’m proud of our love. I love you always and forever yours babe. As I do each and every day and night xxxxx from my lips to yours forever. Be at peace my beautiful darling pauline


Oh Casey what a beautifully written testament to the love you and Pauline share.
A love that will never die, an eternal flame that lives forever in both your hearts :heart:
I know that the pain will never go away. But as you say the love Pauline gave you is worth it. X


@Casey1 Oh bless you Casey. Those are such wonderful heartfelt words . They echo how much my Rob meant to me and there will be no one else for me either. I had found my rock, my soul mate, my best friend, my everything in Rob and I feel completely broken and lost without him. To-day is hard because we always did something special like getting dressed up and having afternoon tea somewhere and we had heart shaped mugs and made heart shaped toast and lots of silly things. Oh how I miss him.
Take care and sending a virtual hug


Casey those are wonderful words from your heart and they express the same feeling and love l have for my darling wife Alicia who passed away 8 weeks ago.
There is no way l could find love with another as she was all l wanted in a wife and l would not find another like her. She was my rock, soulmate, lover and best friend. I miss her so much.
Take care.