Jude

It’s been almost three years since I lost my wife Judith, she was always our driving force. I moved to a new home, because I I not happy in our home. Far too many memories, good and bad.
Even after this time, I miss her. Everyday, she’s in my thoughts. This new house is in need of some redecoration, but I just can’t seem to find the energy or will to get it done.
Lost…!!

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IanP
I know where you are coming from. It’s two years and exactly eight months today since I lost my soulmate and I still miss him so much. I am slowly making a new life but it’s not the one I would have chosen but I accept that my perfect life is gone for good, although I still pine for it in my bad days. I am unlike you and I couldn’t bring myself to move from this home that Paul spent so much loving care on. I hope you and everyone else eventually find the peace we are all looking for.

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Dear @IanP

It is always hard to get motivated when you move into a new home after the loss of your spouse.

This is just a thought to help you get motivated, what room would your wife would have liked redecorated first? You could start with that room first and talk out aloud to her (this is normal and healthy) while doing it.

You are still grieving which is normal after 3 years. You will get there, be gentle with yourself.

Take care.

Peppers

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I wanted to stay there, but it’s so hard. We spent ten years building that how we wanted it done. I know that if it was me first, she would have stayed there and cherished it.
Guess I’m not that strong…

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@IanP you are strong, the strength you have shown to move, for one and the strength to get to today. Your wife would be proud.

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No i think youre strong to move ! I would like to move but i just cant at moment … cant bear anymore stress right now and lets face it moving is very stressful xx

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It’s my birthday next weekend. It was going to be our extra special day, because, we’ll have both been retired, and we had oh so many plans.
All gone now.
Just me, and a big empty house. No matter how many people are in it.
Just me being selfish I suppose.

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You suppose wrong, you are NOT being selfish @IanP in any possible way. You have been living under dreadful emotional stress, missing your beloved wife, We all know here what you have been, and still are, going through.
I hope your birthday goes as well as is possible.

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I would feel if i moved that i would be leaving my gorgeous fantastic beautiful wife sue behind and i cant face the thought of sue being left behind. Sorry if I am being daft

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No i know what you mean , im same. . All my memories are here … i just find them a bit boring around here … always have since we moved here 6 years ago … villagey! Very cliquey some of them … thry are known in this area ( which i found out after i moved) for being quite aloof people … funny sods! but it never bothered me when my husband was here cos i had him ! Having said that i had bit of a laugh with young lad next door yesterday ,moaning about stuff !! :slight_smile: i hate living by myself. Not lived by myself for 37 years … had 3 kids and a husband living with me …
My kids … mmm … well thats another story ! Been pretty awful since funeral ! X

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We were blessed with probably the best neighbours you could wish for. They didn’t want me to move. We have four kids, right from when she was diagnosed, the older two just buried their heads in the sand. Our youngest two have been brilliant. I’m not sure I would have got this far without them.
Feeling a little more positive today, but then I’ve only just got up. We’ll see.

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Thats good. I got one daughter who was being ok but had a row with her on monday cos we were supposed to be going somewhere and she let me down ! :frowning: i am meeting up with eldest daughter next week so see how that goes. My son… hardly spoken to him for 6 months ! I think he is burying his head in sand :frowning:

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I know how that feels, being let down. We were together for 43 years, and she was so reliable, you could set your watch by her. So when I get let down, I get really quite teasy with it. My daughter says it’s because of what I’ve been used to, and that they have their own lives to live. I understand that, but they could just tell me they can’t do stuff

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Hi. It’s been a long time since I visited or posted on here. I do so feel for you Ian. You are not selfish at all. This is a bad time of year for me because next month it will be eight years since I lost my darling husband. It’s dreadful isn’t it? I don’t know how I keep going but I do talk to him a lot and gave a memory wall where I have put lots of photos of us at our happiest time which were when we were on holiday. I keep travelling alone to both places we went and to new places which is often painful but I’m so grateful we did this rather than spend money on material objects . I think the suggestion that you choose which room your wife would have chosen to decorate first is a very good one. It’s so hard to get motivated but doing things does help. Wishing you well Ian . I never realised how many of us there were until I joined this group.

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I agree my husband was the same !Never let anybody down. He was such a very kind man! I loved him so much … i dunno if i will ever find anyone so kind like him in the world. Its not fair is it ! And sorry its just an excuse that is what your daughter says! We are bereft ! We deserve some loyalty x

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I hope you can enjoy your birthday. I know it is so hard
to think of what our future should have been . I’m sure
all of them would want us to have some happiness

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