Now I know humans can be a judgemental bunch, but since knowing my husband will soon die (terminal cancer) and being more aware of bereavement and losing a loved one, it’s really hit home how people seem to have an opinion on everything the remaining partner does.
I think it hit home when I was watching “my mum your dad” which is a new dating show for singletons (don’t judge my choice of trash tv). There’s a guy on there who lost his wife a year ago and the internet is full of people saying “ it’s far too soon” etc etc … who is anyone to say when is too soon? I’ve no doubt there are people who grieve for years, but I’d imagine there are also people that just need the distraction to take away the pain.
Aside from the above, I’d imagine there are also judgements on funerals/non funerals, whether the person goes back to work sooner or later, whether the clothes are cleared out too soon/not soon enough. I bet the list is endless.
No idea what the point on my post is really…
When it comes to grief there are no right or wrongs .
Some people are just too quick to judge .
Well those people can do one for all I care .
Don’t waste your thoughts on such people .
I believe I used to be judgemental. Since my husband died I feel there is no right or wrong apart from what is right or wrong for you.
@Nori The point of your post is to have a rant and I think it will have done you good! I did lots of ranting when my husband first died! Still do sometimes so go for it I say!
I agree completely that there is no right or wrong thing to do. We are all different and deal with things in different ways! J x
I get what your post is about.
We all deal with grief differently🤷🏼♀️
Whose decision is it to say, what’s right or wrong, too soon etc??
It’s down to the person experiencing the pain of grief!
Sod all to do with anyone else.
When you lose the love of your life, the most important thing to do, is to look after yourself & do whatever feels right.
Life is short. Live it.
I had this very conversation at work. I just said your basing your opinion without having lost someone and you’ll never know till it happens to you.
I find the most judgemental can be the ones who HAVE lost someone as others aren’t doing what they are doing. My experience over the last year or so has really made me dislike humans. I think I’m going to become a hermit
Please don’t become a hermit. I am virtually one and it isn’t fun. If you can have some kind of life however painful go for it. I have just watched a recording of strictly so I can just watch the dancing. He hated it and would either watch something else in another room or I would wait for him to be out. All these memories
I think my main issue is people are annoying me more and more every day and I don’t want to even be around them,
I’m trying to juggle my husband and his cancer, two kids, a dog, an elderly mum, my own health issues (Crohn’s disease and SVT) and I haven’t even had time to grieve for my dad and my uncle.
Just this week, I’ve had a friend ask for a cuppa and then cancel on the day for a really crap reason, I’ve asked another friend to help me with lifts to take my son to football as I have two boys in two different places yet she asks me to take her son!
I just give up… everything is so much harder than it should be because people are just so bloody selfish.
You need to get through all you have on your plate. I don’t know how you manage. I admire you. However difficult please don’t become bitter. Love and hugs you incredibly brave person.
On top of everything else there are a lot of phishing e mails coming through on my husbands e mail account. I have kept it open as a lot of reminders of renewals came to him and I don’t want to miss any. I am not so down the path of brain fog that these mis spelt e mails are going to get me. Every one of them gets reported plus the source can’t possibly be legit. These e mails are driving me nuts.
Look after YOU!
You are juggling so much - don’t forget that you are important.
Love to you x
I can’t access my husbands email
He passworded his devices so securely!
I guess that’s what being an IT Director makes you do?!
Made none of it easy for me when it came to sorting things out!!
We always made sure we knew each others passwords in case something happened.
@Pudding I wish we’d done that! I know passwords for everything except his desktop! J x
I’ll have to look after me when the kids are older, for now it’s impossible with no help xx
I get that, but please look after your self too x
I will., one day. I do get peope saying that to me alot, as they feel they’re being nice, but the same people have never offered any help (obviously not aimed at you as you don’t even know me lol). It’s very frustrating xx
Well if there is anything I can do to help, please ask.
Yeh i been watching that … its very good and its up to him if its too soon not anybody else ! People really do like poking their noses in dont they !!! Xx