Just feeling lost

General chat
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I’m Sharon, I lost my husband 3 months ago, I really don’t know where I fit into anything anymore really.

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Hello Sharon25.

My condolences on the passing of your husband. Such a traumatic time.

I can empathise exactly with what you have said. My mam passed away 9 weeks ago. We lived together for 60 years. The last three years mam had Alzheimer’s disease and I cared for her as well as living together.

We did everything together. Shopping trips, little outings, short 4 night stays to a hotel we went to in Scarborough.

I do have a brother and a niece but they don’t really visit, so after all those years I am on my own for the first time. Like you, I feel totally lost without mam. I am crying all the time. There is no one to support me. I had a lovely life and routine with mam, but now i feel that I don’t have a life anymore.

I haven’t written the above to make you feel sadder just to let you know I empathise with you as a lost soul.

God bless and sending you all my support and best wishes. Stephen :people_hugging: :people_hugging: :people_hugging:

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Thank you,

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Hi Sharon, I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I hope you find some solace here on this site. When you say “don’t fit in” what exactly are you referring to? Are you referring to your friends? Or more generally life?
If you are talking about life in general, I think it is quite common to feel of little value especially if you have spent a life dedicated to someone else. The void we are left with is what fills us with such loneliness, unintelligible to those around us.
Wishing you all the best
Tom

:hugs::people_hugging:

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Hello Sharon, so sorry for the loss of your husband, I lost my husband almost 9 weeks ago. And it is truly the most devastating experience of my life. My husband was my everything, so I kinda understand what you mean about not fitting in, it seems like where I go I see couples together, and that’s not me anymore, I gotta figure out things on my own, im lonely. Please take care of yourself and may God bless you :folded_hands:

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Thank you, what I mean is fit in with the world and my friends who are all in couples and if I do go out with them I feel like the odd one out.

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Hi Sharon, I thought that may have been the case. I imagine you are young and finding It difficult to have the social life you enjoyed with your husband. Apart from going though the pain of losing your husband, finding you no longer fit in just adds to the pain. I imagine a lot will depend on your friends but many people find that others avoid them probably because nobody wants to be reminded that death is waiting for us around the corner. You may need to find new friends.
I think it’s in these moments we find out who are true friends .
Wishing you all the best
Tom

:people_hugging: :hugs:

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You’ve got this Sharon, stay strong :white_heart:

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Hi siennahuggins, I am sorry to hear about all your bereavements. I hope you have support from family to be able to cope. It’s lovely to see you looking out for your younger sisters. Wishing you all the strength you will need
All the best
Tom

:hugs::hugs:

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I’m 56, my husband was 60. I think it’s me that feels left out, my friends do try to get me out, but I just tell them I’m doing something, and I’m not I sit in the house watching the tv. I just don’t know where I fit in anymore.

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Hi Sharon, it’s nice that your friends are trying their best to keep you in their plans. I can understand that you are reluctant to socialise after three months. My wife died on Christmas day and it’s almost 5 months but it’s difficult to be with couples enjoying themselves when you are still suffering. Have you tried joining a bereavement group, maybe one of these walking with grief etc.
Wishing you all the best
Tom

:people_hugging::hugs:

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Hi Sharon

I’m so sorry for your devastating loss. It’s the most painful loss to lose your soulmate and best friend. Other people who haven’t had this experience really don’t get it at all.

I’ll be 56 in a few weeks time and lost my husband almost 8 months ago. He had just turned 60 in hospital and had pancreatic cancer, he was gone in a few weeks.

I too feel like you, don’t know where I fit in anymore. I’m just going through the motions with a gaping hole in my heart. I miss him so much, we only ever needed each other and I don’t have family support either. They’ve just left me to it.

Take good care of yourself and keep in touch here, as everyone is lovely and know the pain you’re feeling right now. It’s so raw for you.

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Thank you, my husband had a massive Brain bleed, I left him on the morning to go see my mom, he was fine as always, I got a message from one of our friends saying he wasn’t well and he would bring him home, so I said I’ll come back now, then I got another message saying he’s going to hospital so I said I’ll meet him there, then another message, I would come now there’s an ambulance coming, so when I got to where he was, he was on a stretcher waiting to get into ambulance, so we get in and blue lights and sirens, get to hospital, he’s put into critical care and was told there is nothing they can do because his brain is swelling and it’s putting pressure on his heart, so they advised that he come of the machine, within 5 minutes he’d gone. So I had him that morning and lost him next day. So still in shock.

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Thank you, I will have to have a look at these groups

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Hello Sharon, im so sorry for what you went through with your husband, the loss of a spouse is the most horrendous thing that can happen :broken_heart: :cry:, my husband passed 9 weeks ago, and the pain of losing him is still so raw for me. Being able to express one’s feelings in this site has been a Godsend, to me, people understand, many having similar circumstances, please take care of yourself and God bless you :folded_hands:

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