Just lost my dad

On the 7th of November I lost my dad fairly suddenly and unexpectedly, and I am really finding it difficult to even begin to process what has happened, deal with having been his carer suddenly and imagining my life without him in it. I haven’t even begun to think about. I really don’t want to imagine my life without him, he was my rock, my person to go to about everything. A rock that has been taking from my foundations and now I am questioning everything about my life, and what I really want from life… It all feels like a big mess and I don’t know how to deal with any of this.

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Hi @Sarah341 I know how you feel. I lost my mum suddenly in September, and like your dad to you, she was my rock and foundation. She was my everything - my support, my comfort, my safety. I’ve felt so scared and alone since losing her, and can’t physically process the fact she’s no longer here. She’s always been there for me, it’s too shocking an idea that she’s not anymore. Especially because it all happened so quickly. I don’t know what will help us process, apart from maybe time? Take every day as it comes. I don’t think we can rush our grief and process. Do you have anyone supporting you through this? I have my husband, but that’s all, no other family. Take care x

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I can relate. I lost my dad, who was everything to me, just before Christmas and I cared for him too, so now my (our) routine is no more and it feels like I have no purpose. I can only say, like Woo4, to take it day by day. The pain is otherworldly, I know, and I hope you’ll feel heard and supported on here. :heart:

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Thank you @Woo4 I am sorry you’re also going through this too. I’m sorry we all are. I have my mum and my brother, my brother is easier to talk to about it. But we’re all experiencing our grief in very different ways. Did it change how you felt about your life a bit? I am suddenly questioning everything, how my life is, am i truly happy, and he is the person that I would talk to about it. I really really miss that. Not being able to pick up the phone, hear his voice, ask for his guidance. Is there anything in particular that you’re doing that has helped ?x

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I am sorry @Ulma. It’s so hard isn’t it. I really appreciate your comment. It’s been hardly any time hasn’t it. x

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Hey @Sarah341 yes it did make me relook at my life and think what am I doing. I’m not overly happy with my job, I’m not overly happy about the town I live in, and I had plans to make big changes and move closer to my mum, but then she passed, and now I don’t know what on earth I’m doing and it all feels so pointless now. It kind of helps me to write things down. And I still talk to her every day, and light a candle in front of her picture. It’s too painful to act as if she is not here at all so I try to include her still somehow, like at Christmas I bought her a gift which I unwrapped, and bought myself something and put ‘love from Mum’ on it. I know that sounds very sad but I couldn’t bare the idea of not including her x

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I think that sounds nice. I have made a teddy with my dads favourite t-shirts and has his ashes turned into some jewellery. I feel like i need whatever part of him here because I can’t accept or think that I’ll never see him again. But i am the same, questioning everything. I think I’’ try writing things down too. It might help make my head feel a little clearer than it currently does! x

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It feels like yesterday. :pensive: Forgot to say that I question everything as well, I think that’s normal, and stuff that once seemed important doesn’t feel important anymore.

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