Just lost my husband

My husband and I really loved each other, but he was a hoarder and had other habits I eventually moved out. We didn’t speak for 10 months (his way of dealing with it). Eventually we started dating once or twice a week and life was marvelous! Two months after we started seeing each other, he unexpectedly died in a car accident.

He was the love of my life. I’m devastated. Right now I’m also working FT at a job I hate. I’ve given them 6 weeks notice. Every day I hate waking up. All I look forward to is going to sleep at night. I don’t care about anything. How do others feeling the same way survive?

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BTW, I don’t plan on having any future relationships, he was the love of my life. I hear so many people say they would want their partner to remarry were they to die, but I don’t feel that way. Is that selfish? That I want to be his one and only?

Susanita welcome you have come to the right place everyone here is very supportive and understands what we are feeling I lost the love of my life Pauline 3 weeks ago today she was and is my soulmate and there will never be another I’m sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling take one day at a time thats what I’m doing and no its not selfish to want to be his one and only it helps to talk on here and speak to people who can relate to what we are going through I truly believe you only have one soulmate and we were lucky to have found love

Dear Susanita

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my husband in a road traffic accident September 2020.

I can only take one day at a time. In the early days it was an hour at a time. Trying to deal with the sudden loss, no opportunity to say ‘goodbye’, going over what we discussed in the last conversation I had with him before the crash is sometimes all consuming. We had a little grandson at the time who my husband was devoted to and since my husband’s death we have welcomed another grandson. I still cry each day starting from the time I get up, short intermissions then returning home for it all to start again.

We all grieve differently so just do what you have to do in order to get through the day.

Take care and thinking of you.

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Hi Susanita, I am so sorry for your loss,so tragic and sudden. There is nothing wrong in wanting to be your husbands one and only, 7 years on I have no intention to remarry. As has already been said, its so early in your grief journey, take one day at a time, and even that can feel like a huge accomplishment at times, but always take things at your pace. Giving up your job is also a big step and may leave you with a lot more time on your hands. I hope that you can make some plans, however small, for when you leave work.

Take care.


Thank you for your kind comments. Susan