I saw my mum in the chapel of rest. It’s really awful isn’t it? The coldness is awful. She was so thin. I couldn’t look her face for very long. Just placed my hands on her head and kissed her forehead. Her hands clasped together so bruised from all the needles when she was in hospital. Not my mum at all.
LisaJulia, I’m sorry to hear your are struggling.
It was only last week when I picked up my Mums ashes or should I say broken down in the high street before going in to collect them. I didn’t have an open casket, as it had been six weeks.
We are going through something traumatic. Allow yourself to do what is good for you. I’ve ignored friends and there are even people who I haven’t told yet about my Mum passing. It’s been 9 weeks.
LisaJulia you have to do what is right and healthy for yourself and your young children. The rest will happen when you feel ready.
I want my Mum back too.
Hi lisa Julia
I’m sorry it was your mums cremation yesterday. I like to think the early days are hard but I havent stopped crying today and I’m 24 weeks down the line.
I am pleased I never saw my mum in the chapel of rest. My memories of that time are hard enough without seeing her there. I don’t regret not seeing her or my dad.
You may find that things get worse now the funeral is done. I certainly did…just look after yourself and donh worry about friends. They will be there for you when you feel ready for them x
Hi Cheryl. Hope today is a better day
Lisajulia. You will feel every emotion under the sun in the space of one day even.
I bumped into someone yesterday I don’t know her very well but she knows my brother and so knew my mum had died. She lost her mum two years ago. And there in Morrison’s I had a conversation with someone who just understood. She said it’s been two years and her head is just starting to rise above the water. She said first Xmas was awful but this Xmas she is a little bit looking forward to. She didn’t enjoy or feel anything but slowly it’s coming back.
I hope one day we will feel, Something other than pure pain
Hi joules
I’m off to work so already feel a bit better today. Yesterday was just awful.
A good friend of mine was in bits for 2 years after her mum suddenly died. She started to feel better in year 3 and even now 15 years down the line can get upset.
I think our expectations need to me reassessed and we need to realise that things may not get better for a long time to come. I had an ok week last week so when yesterday happened I felt like I was back at square one.
Hope you’re ok today.
I had a truly awful two days Friday and Saturday. Sunday Monday were ok. Yesterday full on at work. But cried on the way home. Today I have counselling.
I’ve lost my contract with the agency as I rang in sick Thursday and Friday as I barely stopped crying. But I
Don’t care. I have my youth work. And going to do some dog walking for local neighbours.
Hope everyone is “ok” today. Xx
Oh no joules. That doesn’t seem fair.
Hopefully you can get more agency work when you are feeling stronger. Our mums would be so upset to see the effect their deaths are having on our lives wouldn’t they?
I had had enough anyway. I no longer have the right abilities (mentally) to do the job. My mum would be ever so sad. I had a very good counselling session this morning. Helped me look at a few things with a different perspective.
How is everyone today. X
Sounds like your counsellor is good. I didn’t take much away from the 6 sessions I had.
I’m glad it’s working for you.
Hi
New to this forum I posted other day about loosing my mum and just reading all this it does help, everyone has the exact same feelings that I’m going through and I honestly thought I was alone in that way. The grief is so overwhelming, worked all last weekend, had Monday off, went into work yesterday and had a meltdown, couldn’t stop crying, very nearly quit my job, but been today and it’s been better.
6 weeks today she died, 3 weeks since funeral, doesn’t seem real, and still waiting for results from post mortem x
Hi Michelle
Dont be hard on yourself. It’s just 6 weeks.
It’s such early days. My mum has been gone 24 weeks and I was beside myself yesterday. I just couldnt stop crying all day. This was after 2 days in work, doing fine.
It just takes you unawares. I still cannot believe my mum died. I dont think I will ever come to terms with why she had to die. She was so funny, active, happy and involved with my life. There were no signs she was close to death at all. She went into a routine op. She never even tidied her room before she left. Leave it she said, I will do it when I get home. Why did she have a brain hemorrhage and die? I like to think that worse was round the corner for my mum and nature took her away at a good time, but it doesn’t help. What’s for sure is that you are not alone in your feelings michelle. Look after yourself x
Thank you
That’s awful for you too, it doesn’t help no matter how they die does it but suddenly, unexpected. So unfair. That’s all I keep saying, it’s not fair, why us?!
Trying to get into Xmas spirit is so hard, I’m trying but feel can’t do it for everyone else. I work in retail, that took me away from family being so busy I resent my job as well. The girls I work with are great, understanding it’s the management that I’m feel I’m battling with.
Look after yourself too x
It is the 2 yr anniversary today of my dad’s passing and one thing I have learnt in these 2 yrs is that grief will never go away and why would it? It is the expression of the deep love and bond we shared and feel. I saw grief in 2 ways a) to either let it take me down or b) learn and understand the testament of love from it. I chose the latter but it comes with time and patience. It does ease and you learn to incorporate it into your life. It’s a reminder for me of how lucky I am to have had this person and their love in my life. When my dad died he took a piece of my heart with him which I want him to have because love from our hearts are entwined and the pain I feel at times is my dad hugging that love tightly. Grief can be a comfort
1 Like
Hi everyone I lost my lovely mum 2 years ago on 16 th December 2017 that is also my birthday I now hate my birthday my mum was lovely and we lived together I now live on my own I miss her so much but things do get better you will all enjoy things again and look forward to things this is a hard time of year and I do hate it I just try my best with family and friends and being with people who knew and loved my mum help alot I found trying to keep busy helped I still have bad days but I look forward to things now life is never the same again I was my mum’s full time carer for4 years so it was really hard at first but you have to carry on and life will improve just takes time and patience